Monday, January 28, 2013


I would not consider myself obsessively superstitious, but I do have some superstitions especially when it comes to trying to avoid something bad from happening.   We all know how horrible my last delivery went and so this time, I am trying to doing somethings differently during my pregnancy, hoping that we do not have a similar experience.

Last Time:
1. I didn't prepare a nursery
2. I didn't buy anything new for the baby.
3. I had a name picked out and announced.
4. I did NOT announce my pregnancy on Facebook.
5. I delivered at Butler Memorial Hospital.
6. I was negative and complained often about pain and discomfort.

With Brady and This time:
1. I did/ will prepare a nursery.
2. I did/ am buying some new things for the baby.
3. I didn't/ don't have a name picked out OR announced.
4. I did/ am announcing my pregnancy on FB and posting pictures and updates.
5. I did/ will be delivering at Reading Hospital.
6. I was/ am positive and keep the complaining to a minimum.  The discomfort was/ is minimal.

Whether these differences will make a difference or not, I feel better about not repeating what I did last time.  Unfortunately I have been "ruined" after delivering Jordan.  I know that life is not guaranteed, so I have a stiff guard up even though I can feel the excitement and ignorance popping through once again.

Being pregnant and expecting a child is an exciting and life-changing experience, no matter how many times you have been through it.   I continue to pray that this upcoming life-changing event will end up making us feel overwhelmed with happiness and joy.    I have already been down the shock and extreme disappointment road and am hoping a person only ever has to experience that at most, one time.

Monday, January 21, 2013

Operation Baby!

There is a lot to consider when preparing for a baby.  While pregnant with Jordan, we never really prepared much, knowing that we would not be staying in our Cranberry Township home.   Looking back, it was a God sent.  I didn't have to come home to a waiting nursery adorn with adorable baby decor in the midst of the worst grief I have ever felt.   

Now that we are settled in our "forever" home, we are preparing a nursery where we will place our baby boy in April.  In preparation, we had to first move Chad's home office from a bedroom to the basement.  This project was completed soon after we found out we were expecting.  

Now we are in the midst of painting what will become the nursery and remodeling the bathroom the boys will use.   Chad and his dad worked hard over the weekend to paint the room a soft, powder blue. Our contractor will be finishing it with a white wains coating within the coming week.  As our remodel takes place, Brady and I are keeping busy and trying to stay out of the way.  On day one, we baked some chocolate chip cookies (just what I need).  He even helped to do the dishes. 

We are excited for the home transitions as well as our family transition.  It brings me joy to plan and prepare for the arrival of our 3rd child.   Stay tuned for the end results! 

Tuesday, January 8, 2013

Rainbow baby #1

My sister and I have a lot in common.  We both have toddlers.  We both experienced neonatal death.  We are/ were both pregnant with our rainbow babies.  I have walked in my sister's steps since we began starting our families. Although I was married first, she was the first of us to get pregnant and ever since, our family histories are almost identical.

So here we are...I am 25 weeks pregnant and she just had her RAINBOW baby!!!  I could not be more thrilled for her and her family!!  The weight of waiting has been lifted and they were granted their healthy, living baby!!

Being that our family histories are so similar, I feel even more confident that in early April, I too will welcome a healthy, living baby!  After all, what happens to her seems to also happen to me.  Although my sister has her baby in her arms and I am stuck waiting another 3 months, I have the advantage of asking her all kinds of questions about her birth plan to make sure I am doing everything I should be doing to ensure the best possible outcome.

I didn't always have a good relationship with my sister.  It all started when my parents brought her home from the hospital 22 months later.  I was horrified that I had to share the attention and since then, sharing has always been hard.  Especially when it came to boys in high school.  Now, 31 years later, I am blessed to have her. We are very close and often talk daily.  Now our children will be close, in age anyway.

Proud to announce the birth of Jocelyn Nikohl Kozlowski. Born 1/8/13: