tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-65874681666329012092024-03-05T08:51:33.799-08:00My Son with Wings and His Waiting FamilyAllisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12701721644810674175noreply@blogger.comBlogger54125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6587468166632901209.post-57964587245082539402014-11-16T04:26:00.000-08:002014-11-16T04:26:00.890-08:00Three YearsIt seems that once October hits, I get into a very blah kind of mood, knowing that November is approaching. My heart becomes heavy and I find myself in deep thought about the events that unfolded November 16th through the 18th. I can't seem to escape the "What ifs" and it haunts me to think that if I could have done a few things differently, maybe, just maybe Jordan would be with us today. Unfortunately, that was not God's will. <br />
<br />
Along this very fragile journey of infant loss, I have learned a few things.<br />
<br />
1. There are so many people going through the same kind of loss and suffering with the same emotions that I am. <i>One in four women will experience pregnancy or infant loss!! That number is huge and still the topic seems to be hush, hush. Nobody wants to talk about it. Luckily, I have found people and support groups who did want to talk about it and that was tremendously helpful. </i><br />
<br />
2. I will NEVER forget.<i> The days certainly get easier and easier as time goes on, but I will never forget Jordan and what happened to my sweet boy. I think about him at least once a day, whether it's for a few seconds or a few minutes. It might even be as I am washing dishes and peer out the window at his memorial stone and tree. </i><br />
<br />
3. Everyone is suffering from something. <i>I try not to judge people. Everyone has something they are going through. We are all jaded by our past and/or our present. If only we could write it across our foreheads</i>,<i> I really think we would be more compassionate towards one another. </i><br />
<br />
4. Everyone grieves differently. <i>For me, writing and attending support groups was easy for me. </i><i><i>Talking to my husband however, was very difficult. Every time I talk to Chad about Jordan, I well up with tears even to this day. I thinks its because we share such a deep understand of his loss with one another. </i>Having a strong faith-base was also extremely helpful in dealing with loss. At first I blamed God, but soon realized His plan was not to make me suffer, but to make me stronger. In addition to my faith and my husband, our family and friends were incredibly supportive in letting us know we were loved. </i><br />
<u><br /></u>
<u>Three Years Ago:</u><br />
The loss of a child is like a pain you'll never know unless you have experienced it. In the beginning, I spent plenty of days crying, not wanting to get out of bed, wandering why the world around me was still spinning and continuing on like nothing happened while my little boy had just been taken from me! How was I suppose to carry on? As the days, months and years have passed, I can only explain the pain as frightening. Nothing I would ever want to experience again. The most frightening thing about it all was not being able to comprehend the fact that a baby had died. Babies are not suppose to die, babies are just beginning their life. Giving birth and then leaving Jordan at heavens gates was nauseating! Going home empty handed was heart-breaking! Having to deal with all the post-pregnancy issues such as milk production, body image, and c-section recovery without the reward of a baby was even more painful than one could possibly imagine. Each day I looked in the mirror, I was reminded of the baby I no longer had. Mirrors were my worst enemy.<br />
<br />
My one saving grace during the whole thing was Brady! He kept me going. I had to get out of bed for him each day. I had to wipe my tears dry so he wouldn't see me suffering. Although I lost one child, I was still Brady's mom too! I may have come home empty handed the second time, but I had a beautiful smiling face waiting for me when I did. <br />
<br />
<u>Presently</u>:<br />
As I look in the mirror today, I am proud of the person I have become
and although the post-pregnancy body is gone, I am always reminded of
the three boys I carried for 8 1/2 long months. Today, I praise God for the two earthly children I have been so blessed to raise. I am a stronger, more compassionate person because of Jordan and I am thankful for that. As time passes, my "wounds" become less noticeable and I am better able to cope with life's difficulties. To help me, Brady and Collin keep my mind busy with their outgoing personalities and and their unwillingness to sit. Brady is now 4 1/2 and Collin is 20 months! <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiktYD2_aLkOloHeoSS3vQibgpIlW82VWP3reAphOyeM_O62bYD3bMVDujpEML4BruAdW1-JLt16oYlpCzbXBWpLCYVRiRPoK0jlLPDpLt3dzvHEukJwzFfvS8D0XLi5YK91kRJjgR9aDs/s1600/amaphotography+(2).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiktYD2_aLkOloHeoSS3vQibgpIlW82VWP3reAphOyeM_O62bYD3bMVDujpEML4BruAdW1-JLt16oYlpCzbXBWpLCYVRiRPoK0jlLPDpLt3dzvHEukJwzFfvS8D0XLi5YK91kRJjgR9aDs/s1600/amaphotography+(2).jpg" height="213" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1R_KXbmORJ69etrKaX0xPDGVvaIHZ9NQykwZtMMixewDYr-UH9YcIBcFY02UerX6ZI53B8le8Nw2tcPgEC5AxyC30A_XPSjEjoNPOKTCXLzvM2jYjFhAf4HLZ1kZXfH660k_I8uHFRRg/s1600/amaphotography+(26).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh1R_KXbmORJ69etrKaX0xPDGVvaIHZ9NQykwZtMMixewDYr-UH9YcIBcFY02UerX6ZI53B8le8Nw2tcPgEC5AxyC30A_XPSjEjoNPOKTCXLzvM2jYjFhAf4HLZ1kZXfH660k_I8uHFRRg/s1600/amaphotography+(26).jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
Thank you to my readers for following this bumpy road of mine since 2011. I am forever grateful for your loyalty and sincere comments along the way. The kind words have kept me going in a positive direction and I truly appreciate every blurb.<br />
<br />
Today, we will spend the day as a family. Brady and Collin are excited to send a few balloons to heaven. I am sure we'll sing Jordan happy birthday too. <br />
<br />
<b>HAPPY 3rd BIRTHDAY JORDAN!!</b><br />
<br />
<br />Allisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12701721644810674175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6587468166632901209.post-10536546476940299432014-01-20T17:46:00.000-08:002014-01-20T17:46:19.685-08:00Consignment Downer<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha-p7tZSmB__oG7nT3u6EqUKpOKrd90cwyWSMnyKynqTuRbWwYVMgSymajByj91jaYyGKfuSPn_f7AhHMJSCdzejvs4xUVYGp63Zk2lxwh5kVtURIZfUzyrolKh7OhT2NwMnmZi53EB9U/s1600/customLogo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEha-p7tZSmB__oG7nT3u6EqUKpOKrd90cwyWSMnyKynqTuRbWwYVMgSymajByj91jaYyGKfuSPn_f7AhHMJSCdzejvs4xUVYGp63Zk2lxwh5kVtURIZfUzyrolKh7OhT2NwMnmZi53EB9U/s1600/customLogo.jpg" height="115" width="320" /></a></div>
The Faithful Friends Consignment sale is in our near future (March 14 and 15). I was approached about joining this wonderful organization of ladies and agreed to join the group. I volunteered to take on the organizational part of the sale. I LOVE to organize!! Since I am now part of this mission, I also signed up to be a consignor. Collin is 9 months old now, so all the newborn to 6 month baby items are now tagged and hanging in all available closet space that I have. <br />
<br />
Putting the clothing on hangers and pricing them has been exciting yet a bit depressing. My baby is growing up and we are not expecting any more babies in our future. I find myself questioning whether I really am done having babies. I was never one of those people who enjoyed being pregnant, but it is easy to forget how long and hard those 9 months can be. It would be ideal to have another child without having to be pregnant :) After all, I am back to my pre-pregnancy weight and fitting into all my regular clothing, what a glorious feeling!!!<br />
<br />
Truthfully, I would LOVE to adopt a child at some point in my life. I have ALWAYS wanted to do this and Chad and I have contemplated this idea several times. Each time, we got pregnant instead. For now, these two boys are keeping me very busy and I am sincerely happy with the family God has given me. I can't help however, the feeling of emptiness, knowing that I should have three boys. <br />
<br />
As for the boys, Collin is 9 months and keeping me busy! Crawling, climbing steps, clapping, getting teeth, doing raspberries and saying da-da. His foods have increased to beans, ham, cheese, crackers, hummus, and peaches. He is so much fun and an absolute joy!<br />
<br />
Brady continues to enjoy school. We are working on identifying letters and writing his name. He has become really good at playing the Wii and Temple Runner. He and Chad enjoy competing against each other. Most of the time he is a good helper and good with Collin, although there is always room for improvement.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgeL4e03tvHKXI-1r9r-CXF-BSV5fSsUkQ9p9U72Huqi-oO0R7sb_ZkLPrgqYPs7b5Se53ByioYZoksXhSeAkqH3PCbspWEpfS9LoP5nre_evq_bLvG3wIVlIzLKPHQXo24Hd6CkdtxR0/s1600/tunnel.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgeL4e03tvHKXI-1r9r-CXF-BSV5fSsUkQ9p9U72Huqi-oO0R7sb_ZkLPrgqYPs7b5Se53ByioYZoksXhSeAkqH3PCbspWEpfS9LoP5nre_evq_bLvG3wIVlIzLKPHQXo24Hd6CkdtxR0/s1600/tunnel.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;">Consignment Sale details:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;"><br /></span>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
When: March 14th and 15th 2014</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
Where: West Lawn United Methodist Church (community Center)</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
Needed: Consignors and Volunteers<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUPvDV9_hTBtkJ6DuDl-9fpAA0chB_HjfswQf_wGi5O5YH4gsA7uAZZyC1ptTZU18xrFWGc1IXFNV43UkaY3dzgvHkTxCFh-VxYofKF2sHt37xfseGrTKAPMzZiuGQ0lCMFAqcvOcYNWs/s1600/hugs.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhUPvDV9_hTBtkJ6DuDl-9fpAA0chB_HjfswQf_wGi5O5YH4gsA7uAZZyC1ptTZU18xrFWGc1IXFNV43UkaY3dzgvHkTxCFh-VxYofKF2sHt37xfseGrTKAPMzZiuGQ0lCMFAqcvOcYNWs/s1600/hugs.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />Allisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12701721644810674175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6587468166632901209.post-16905554240685339702013-11-16T06:49:00.003-08:002013-11-16T06:49:15.161-08:00Happy 2nd Birthday Angel!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3CmdpZzDyDHerzQwanrF9My0VgTT1HNhac0S2WH0Mc4xTYGu9UxcslsfIR-6QF0LWi7AZ8NO5DMPiY255gLV0en0r6uHW9Hr0M4NzvMYhcZNbISb-Wj-Ost7HwESYZzUFIOP0-MYbMFE/s1600/photo-11.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj3CmdpZzDyDHerzQwanrF9My0VgTT1HNhac0S2WH0Mc4xTYGu9UxcslsfIR-6QF0LWi7AZ8NO5DMPiY255gLV0en0r6uHW9Hr0M4NzvMYhcZNbISb-Wj-Ost7HwESYZzUFIOP0-MYbMFE/s320/photo-11.jpg" width="238" /></a></div>
Here we are, two years since Jordan was born. I continue to think and be reminded of him each and every day. November 16, 2011 was a scary day and it started the darkest time of my life. I remember the pain and heart-ache that I experienced at that time. I was in denial of the situation and felt as though I was living on auto-pilot. I believe that God was helping me to cope rationally on the outside, but I was completely falling apart on the inside. <br />
<br />
There were many people who told me that "time will heal." I wanted to punch each person in the face who told me this! I could not imagine ever healing from the death of my son!! I sought out support groups, books, journals and blogging to deal with my feelings. All of these things have helped, but TIME is what needed to happen. It took <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">time </span>for me to grip the reality of postpartum without a baby. It took <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">time</span> for me to understand that this was NOT my fault. It took <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">time</span> for me to realize that Jordan was not coming back and that this really did happen. Those people I wanted to punch in the face were right. And although I don't think I will ever heal from the loss of Jordan, <span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">time</span> has definitely helped to heal the pain. My heart will always be a little bit broken. <br />
<br />
As I sit here, two years later, I feel a new sense of family. I have lost, but I have also gained. I have gained empathy to a new extreme. I have gained a new appreciated of parenthood. I have gained new friends. I have gained a new BABY and I am so very thankful for these gifts. <br />
<br />
Wishing my beautiful angel a very happy 2nd birthday! I will love you and remember you always! <br />
<br />
<br />Allisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12701721644810674175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6587468166632901209.post-89931410966705225852013-10-02T18:06:00.000-07:002013-10-02T18:06:31.646-07:00Greedy for Sleep<br />
Welp, I have yet to get a full nights sleep since I bragged about the ONLY night of uninterrupted sleep on Facebook about three months ago. Any who, thats what babies do. They get us all excited and hopeful after that first night of uninterrupted sleep and then they don't do it again until, well, who knows...? By now however, my body is used to getting up at 1:30 AM and again at 5 AM just to be woken by the alarm clock at 6:30 AM. I look forward to nap time when I hope to get some shut eye for 30 minutes and if that doesn't work out, a second cup of coffee. Needless to say, I wouldn't mind a full nights sleep. BUT, I know this phase wont last forever and I don't mind riding it out. <br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju4WSVrkHOJPoX6oaVOilDfBQQ1Mu0H6GOv8TrnaZS-iE_sQq3qAeLKlyZFaZfSykMDdD3uKPu_yl-K9omtKN_irHsMLyEHeToFkj_5aEpUPpUI_6MtD8cuBdhqO8G_ichOvpMGMyamHw/s1600/photo-22.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEju4WSVrkHOJPoX6oaVOilDfBQQ1Mu0H6GOv8TrnaZS-iE_sQq3qAeLKlyZFaZfSykMDdD3uKPu_yl-K9omtKN_irHsMLyEHeToFkj_5aEpUPpUI_6MtD8cuBdhqO8G_ichOvpMGMyamHw/s320/photo-22.jpg" width="240" /></a>Although sleep would be nice, I am thankful for my healthy, baby boy! After all, sleepless nights with a baby were what I longed for after Jordan passed. What I wouldn't have given to wake up with a baby in the middle of the night. There are many times when I get overwhelmed with the chaos in my life, but I am quickly reminded of how fortunate I am to have the chaos of two children because I know the flip side. I know the pain of loss and the emptiness it brings. <br />
<br />
I will have the rest of my life to catch up on sleep, so for now I will suck it up and enjoy holding Collin and rocking him as I feed him in the wee hours of the night. I am blessed to have these two boys in my life! I can't wait to see what tomorrow will bring. :)<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">An Update:</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>Collin</b></span><br />
Collin will be 6 months old this weekend. He is ready to crawl, but cant quite figure out how to move. He has the crawling stance down, but rocking is all he is able to do. He just started sitting. I have to sit behind him for now because he tends to throw himself backwards. He is eating "solid" foods and doing well. He is super happy and is always smiling and watching Brady. <br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>Brady</b></span><br />
Brady started preschool and likes it a lot. We just went on his first field trip to Weavers Orchard. He got to pick an apple and try some apple cider. We had Brady's annual doctors visit at The Children's Hospital of Philadelphia. He is seen by the cranial-facial team once per year. Eyes, ears, teeth, speech, and ENT are ALL perfect. They don't have any concerns about him at this time. They are however, going to do a jaw surgery on him when he turns five. This will help with some of the facial asymmetry and his crooked jaw. My dad has agreed to do all of his follow up orthodontics, which will be nice!! Its great having a dentist in the family! <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOrs55BrAFmLP52uQ1XxWmhC2sEiwuNpkt_Q83l-L-f3tyKvIGRVBQeIqcje7aQcrx-_Htqv4Ff-wQtK2aIDJKgeEO11-xbeltjN6ujmYZmldkWQrvSRCRemBF4UtJSNOrF_txybquHC8/s1600/photo-23.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgOrs55BrAFmLP52uQ1XxWmhC2sEiwuNpkt_Q83l-L-f3tyKvIGRVBQeIqcje7aQcrx-_Htqv4Ff-wQtK2aIDJKgeEO11-xbeltjN6ujmYZmldkWQrvSRCRemBF4UtJSNOrF_txybquHC8/s320/photo-23.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />Allisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12701721644810674175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6587468166632901209.post-38981241225598253672013-08-23T16:33:00.002-07:002013-08-23T16:33:29.341-07:00Peace and Quiet<br />
Here I sit in a very quiet house. Creepy almost. My husband took Brady to his parent's house for the weekend and Chad is going golfing. I feel somewhat like a lost puppy, not sure what to do with myself. So, Collin and I have decided to update the blog! What a perfect opportunity! We took some new pictures of ourselves using photo booth.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgShF5RJbFG3vcDehr8HD0l_MHqxmCzru8Qy_BKBFaw6voFccjgUHeNmZMVuk62CbWHnrBidLGVQ-RyXyjOc70Gj1-SZQ3HCr1njzL8f66c6IFxbRfIEAVIiNN2hQgOymWQNrwW4LfRGuM/s1600/Photo+on+2013-08-23+at+18.27.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgShF5RJbFG3vcDehr8HD0l_MHqxmCzru8Qy_BKBFaw6voFccjgUHeNmZMVuk62CbWHnrBidLGVQ-RyXyjOc70Gj1-SZQ3HCr1njzL8f66c6IFxbRfIEAVIiNN2hQgOymWQNrwW4LfRGuM/s200/Photo+on+2013-08-23+at+18.27.jpg" width="200" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNgJt2tDdxjIl1i6bptfN6s2kpdSL6PS7nvpX8VahS6AQGzphR5gu4T0srE9nWK0AspW9e6gMuWjnjUxXyiJFrAXjuGTAAsyZq6MXz2sVHuyzYvb0EaiojUcLnLq7r3bkyMSr8JIMjPIg/s1600/Photo+on+2013-08-23+at+18.23+%234.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="150" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgNgJt2tDdxjIl1i6bptfN6s2kpdSL6PS7nvpX8VahS6AQGzphR5gu4T0srE9nWK0AspW9e6gMuWjnjUxXyiJFrAXjuGTAAsyZq6MXz2sVHuyzYvb0EaiojUcLnLq7r3bkyMSr8JIMjPIg/s200/Photo+on+2013-08-23+at+18.23+%234.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
Collin is 4 1/2 months old. It is disturbing how fast he is growing. At his 4 month well visit, he was tipping the scales at 16 lbs 4oz, measuring in the 75% percentile. Needless to say he eats well. So well, that he can't be too far away from me for any amount of time. He is breast fed and HATES the bottle. He has been struggling with a bottle since day one. I am not complaining, but it would be nice to get out once in awhile. This mama could use some girl time. In fact, I went for a pedicure the other week, and had to take Collin along with me. LOL. I am super lucky that he is such a good baby, molding to any situation I put him in. <br />
<br />
As far as milestones, he is rolling over like a champ. So well, I had to take him out of his swaddle. Now that was a nightmare! Luckily it only took a LONG three nights to get him accustomed to the new feel of freedom within the crib. He is already wearing 6 month clothing and I just washed and sorted 9 and 12 month clothes. Before I know it, he'll be walking. <br />
<br />
I am proud to stay that I have mastered the art of mom of two. It really is an art, or maybe a circus act. I have a system down of caring for them by myself and even taking them to the store!! YAY!! I haven't even had any embarrassing episodes YET!! I know they will come, but am thankful that my trips to the store are quick and easy at this point. <br />
<br />
Brady continues to be a good big brother, but just recently has had some trouble with boundaries. He has been intentionally trying to scare and hurt Collin. Time outs seems to put him back in line as a reminder of how NOT to act. He will be starting preschool two days a week beginning September 10th. His teacher just sent him a name tag to color and wear for the first day. He seems excited. We will be returning to CHOP for his yearly visit with the cranial-facial department. We will be discussing jaw surgery that will take place sometime next year. <br />
<br />
Signing off with Barefoot Moscato in hand, a sleeping baby, and a house to myself. :)<br />
<br />
<br />Allisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12701721644810674175noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6587468166632901209.post-36639264987067531252013-07-26T12:41:00.001-07:002013-07-26T12:41:44.765-07:00The LookBack in 2011 and into 2012, after I had Jordan, I would see these beautiful new moms, proudly pushing their new babies through each store I went into. I could not seem to get away from the constant reminder that everyone else had what I should have had. Each time I would pass a new baby, I would give a look of despair or completely look in the opposite direction. I just could not bare looking at babies. Each time someone posted pictures of their new babies on Facebook, I would cry! I was happy for them, but so sad for myself. This attitude continued until I got pregnant with Collin. <br />
<br />
Getting pregnant again was like a new beginning, another chance, and a breath of fresh air. I could feel a sense of hope come over me. I was able to smile again. I was scared out of my mind, but I was excited for the possibility of another child. <br />
<br />
When Collin arrived, I became the proud mommy pushing him through the stores. This time, aware of "the look." There have been times when I have picked up on women who look at me with pain in their eyes. I smile at them and wonder what lies behind their sorrowful eyes. Could it be that they too have experienced a loss of a child? I can't help but be happy for the life of Collin, but I also know the feeling of longing for a life that was taken too soon. <br />
<br />
That said, I still long for Jordan and wish he was part of this family. I am often reminded of him and think of him daily. I am blessed to me a mommy of three!<br />
<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;">Brady and Collin update:</span></b><br />
Brady had his 3 year check up and he is doing well. This summer, he has participated in 2 day camps. He enjoyed both of them and show no signs of missing me when I leave. He is becoming more confident in the water and goes down the slide at the pool. Next week, he will be getting swim lessons. He is busy, busy, busy! I am wiped out by the end of the day!<br />
<br />
Collin is almost 4 months. He is growing like a weed! He is beginning to roll over and show excitement with high pitched squeals. He has a smile that melts my heart every time. He has Chad's dimples. (Super cute)<br />
<br />
Thanks for continue to read my blog! I enjoy updating it when I have time :)<br />
<br />
<br />Allisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12701721644810674175noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6587468166632901209.post-62699000769827436282013-06-13T18:03:00.001-07:002013-06-13T18:03:07.186-07:00Two Months with CollinWhen I initially started this blog, it was an outlet for me to write about my feeling after the loss of Jordan. It was a great way for me to express my true feeling throughout my grief process. I don't think I will ever be able to say that I am "over" the grief process, but my blog has definitely taken a different turn. As I continue to think about Jordan and what should have been, I have now entered a new chapter in my life; the mother of THREE boys. <br />
<br />
Having TWO living children has been quite an adjustment. It was only last week when I felt confident enough to take the boys out to Target by myself. It went well until the very end when Brady threw a fit...in the car. Thank goodness he waited until we got to the car. Growing up, I never wanted to be "that mom" who couldn't control her kids in public. Well, now I know that it has NOTHING to do with the parents. It doesn't matter how good of a parent you are, you WILL encounter a "scene" with your kids in public at some point.<br />
<br />
Collin is doing well. He just had his 2 month check up this week and the doctor was impressed with his growth, weighing in at 13 lbs 14 oz. He is in the 90th percentile for weight and the 50th percentile for both length and head circumference. He got 3 shots and one oral vaccination. He was in pain the rest of the day. He continues to be fussy during the times he is awake during the day, but sleeps well at night. <br />
<br />
On a Jordan note, I was hoping that the birth of Collin would somehow tie into Jordan in some way. I was hopeful for a rainbow or a butterfly appearance on the day Collin was born, but nothing like that happened. It was a few days later that my mother-in-law pointed out a significant number correlation. Each one of our birth days equals 16, the day Jordan was born:<br />
Chad- 1<br />
Allison- 4<br />
Brady- 5<br />
Collin- 6<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red; text-decoration: underline;"><b>Pretty Cool!!</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimqOyZy6cvMPirWjVMAAmMGI1uYa9I-J3lSGEeGvyLtZv21_fYWZvTRcyj9OXqANG_9OV6IMO_ALPpTU85bEaNlpt6P-wpWyBY6m61YxQROPch1Ox15Qwuv6u3dPnKNYRDporCFWa0sLM/s1600/D8B5901B-97F7-46E5-A407-F876C7FD4CD6.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEimqOyZy6cvMPirWjVMAAmMGI1uYa9I-J3lSGEeGvyLtZv21_fYWZvTRcyj9OXqANG_9OV6IMO_ALPpTU85bEaNlpt6P-wpWyBY6m61YxQROPch1Ox15Qwuv6u3dPnKNYRDporCFWa0sLM/s320/D8B5901B-97F7-46E5-A407-F876C7FD4CD6.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;"><b><br /></b></span></span>
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;"><b><br /></b></span></span>Allisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12701721644810674175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6587468166632901209.post-61620580034293430312013-05-20T04:52:00.004-07:002013-05-20T04:52:59.407-07:00Whirlwind<br />
And we're back! Phew! It has been a VERY busy few weeks. I completely forgot what it was like to care for a newborn and throw a 2 1/2 year old into the mix and you have a whirlwind! There have been a few adjustment to my daily routine:<br />
<br />
1. I go to bed WAY before 10 PM.<br />
2. There is NO way to keep my house clean and orderly.<br />
3. Dark circles are now a wardrobe must!<br />
4. The crock-pot is my new best friend.<br />
5. We rarely leave the house for two reasons: a) I don't feel comfortable or confident enough to nurse in a public place and b) Brady is completely unpredictable.<br />
6. My biceps are getting back in shape b/c I carry 12 lbs around most of the day.<br />
<br />
That said, I am loving every minute of it...well, most minutes. <br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja5pssJnARYKV7tlpNWqdeKPFK4RbUobCRssjdn9adxUklcRHtlYUn8U-ViRuMBrjPHGoEbiZDhiJqppQfd-K-JiV9pr4HyJtjG24qPqqMPjhojbOUviB8vIjKjK1hbQE5sTyNZR4kDyk/s1600/DSCN1891.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEja5pssJnARYKV7tlpNWqdeKPFK4RbUobCRssjdn9adxUklcRHtlYUn8U-ViRuMBrjPHGoEbiZDhiJqppQfd-K-JiV9pr4HyJtjG24qPqqMPjhojbOUviB8vIjKjK1hbQE5sTyNZR4kDyk/s320/DSCN1891.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
Collin is now 6 weeks old<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
Since I have posted last, we got Collin baptized along with his cousin Jocelyn. (Also a Rainbow baby) It was extra special this year because we chose Mother's day to get the babies baptized AND because last year at this very time, we were memorializing our 2nd born babies, not knowing that two new lives would be born just one year later.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7dpgFM1Hdfh4DQ_3NexpHvDBCqJj-4xk7bUBBVOC0odiipNnKicQu5mBQy0rh0xFddOg9EvVK-U1bSGH_AQyix7_9l81DVXYlbNDjZ7y3JYcpLOg0G-al8wFOez7xvyjBeTThVxN-GcQ/s1600/DSCN1910.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi7dpgFM1Hdfh4DQ_3NexpHvDBCqJj-4xk7bUBBVOC0odiipNnKicQu5mBQy0rh0xFddOg9EvVK-U1bSGH_AQyix7_9l81DVXYlbNDjZ7y3JYcpLOg0G-al8wFOez7xvyjBeTThVxN-GcQ/s320/DSCN1910.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size: large;"><b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: #134f5c;">Life is Good!</span></b></span></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />Allisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12701721644810674175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6587468166632901209.post-5055256061981668552013-04-18T12:31:00.000-07:002013-04-18T12:31:52.462-07:00Our Rainbow Has Arrived!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3BICP_2azrebc_VTxSFrxdlC0uYp2uwCrKitVthaZldJ0k3Y23SYolxjemo2VZe4i5w4syJ-bermQdXhGuHaLVqtO0jeVP2y85C1O-O4etPaSsGa9GvHSM0gPordL53XEvC0OvyDYFGk/s1600/DSCN1810.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg3BICP_2azrebc_VTxSFrxdlC0uYp2uwCrKitVthaZldJ0k3Y23SYolxjemo2VZe4i5w4syJ-bermQdXhGuHaLVqtO0jeVP2y85C1O-O4etPaSsGa9GvHSM0gPordL53XEvC0OvyDYFGk/s320/DSCN1810.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
After a long 9 months and much anticipation, Collin James Hoofnagle has finally arrived! He was born on Saturday April 6th, 2013 at 8:48 AM. He was 7lbs 8oz and 19.5 inches long. When we heard him cry as the doctors pulled him from me, Chad and I could not help but cry as well. Collin's scream was music to our ears! <br />
<br />
I can't say however, that everything went as planned. We were originally scheduled to have our c-section on 4-4-13. When we went in with hospital bag in hand ready to have a baby, the maternal fetal medicine doctors were unable to extract amniotic fluid. We were sent home extremely disappointed and even more anxious. I was given 2 steroid shots to promote lung development over the next 48 hours. <br />
<br />
We then got the c-section rescheduled for 4-6-13. We arrived at 6 AM for an 8:00 AM surgery. The doctors and nurses were so nice and took us right on time. It wasn't long before we were able to see our little miracle. Unfortunately, Collin had to be taken to the NCIU before we could hold him. The doctors had prepared us for the possibility that Collin's lungs may be under developed or that they might contain fluid. <br />
<br />
Once I was out of recovery, they wheeled my whole bed to the NICU where I was able to hold our sweet, sweet bundle of joy. He was absolutely perfect minus all the tubes attached to him. He stayed in the NICU for 2 days until his blood oxygen level was stable. Chad and I went to visit him every 3 hours. <br />
<br />
Collin was able to come home with us when we were discharged on Tuesday. He is such a good baby! Brady cannot wait to play with his baby brother. He is adjusting well to his role as big brother, asking to hold Collin often. He has been a big help most of the time. His new job is throwing the dirty diapers away. <br />
<br />
I cannot thank everyone enough for ALL the prayers and kind thoughts leading up to the birth of this child. We feel so completely blessed to have Collin in our lives!<br />
<br />
<br />Allisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12701721644810674175noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6587468166632901209.post-68116743892515705742013-03-28T12:46:00.003-07:002013-03-28T17:22:09.999-07:00Jordan, Our Middle Child. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyqEAUHIjxFHxYPfZL-uBy8BflMWPD0q_HJ2Je08YxWFo1yTtdlq9BaofLsOG5ATfcLxUAnVBwCna0U_k-rF2dqoqv0TzyAs5o_PUfslpt_WOUDAYnMu9UfbdypNf5ZjuYu_xkpTRPFsk/s1600/photo-5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgyqEAUHIjxFHxYPfZL-uBy8BflMWPD0q_HJ2Je08YxWFo1yTtdlq9BaofLsOG5ATfcLxUAnVBwCna0U_k-rF2dqoqv0TzyAs5o_PUfslpt_WOUDAYnMu9UfbdypNf5ZjuYu_xkpTRPFsk/s320/photo-5.jpg" width="264" /></a></div>
So here we are, one week away from welcoming our Rainbow baby and I can't help but think about delivery day. Will it go smoothly? Will something horrific happen? Will I get to bring my baby home? I am frightened at every thought that runs through my head. All I want is a healthy, living baby. I have prayed for it before and was left completely devastated.<br />
<br />
You may want to know if I have prayed for another healthy, living baby and the answer is YES!! Of course I have. Every single day I pray. <br />
<br />
When we lost Jordan, I asked the attending Reverend at Children's Hospital how one goes about "keeping their faith" when encountered with such a devastating loss. He told me a story that I have written about before in the entry titled "Keeping the Faith at 4 months." I continue to think about how much God loves me and the children that I bare. I have to believe that He has a plan for each of us. This time I hope and pray that the plan is to keep this child in my arms.<br />
<br />
Jordan will always be our MIDDLE child. Quite symbolic after rereading my post "Recalling THAT Day, " Where I listed some symbolisms of a butterfly and how much of his life was symmetrical. He was born smack dab in the middle of the month and on the middle most day of the week (wednesday). Kind of ironic if you ask me. <br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
I sit here, struggling with the new "what ifs" if this pregnancy and delivery. Hoping things will go as planned and praying for a rainbow miracle to enter my life next week. <br />
<br />
On the bright side, the doctors said the baby is measuring a week ahead (37 weeks) and already weighs 6lbs. 7oz!Allisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12701721644810674175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6587468166632901209.post-16214337765705490482013-03-22T10:42:00.000-07:002013-03-22T10:42:17.939-07:002 More Weeks!<br />
<div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
40 weeks is a long time to wait for anything, let alone a child! I feel like a kid waiting for Santa's arrival. We are prepared to welcome our 3rd son in less than 2 weeks! We have been busy washing baby clothes and putting the finishing touches on the nursery. We have a name picked and I just got done registering with the Reading Hospital. The only thing missing is the baby! </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
Recently the days seem to crawl. Brady and I are waiting for Spring to poke its head out and show us some warmer weather. Instead, we have been anchored to the house not only because of the cold, but also because Brady can't seem to handle himself in public. I am thankful for the break when my parents volunteer to take him for the day so I can run some errands. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
It wont be long now until I have two little boys to care for. <span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;"> I can't wait!</span>! Sleepless nights are just around the corner. And so is the joy of raising another child. </div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;">Prayer Request:</span></b> The doctor that I have been seeing throughout my entire pregnancy has called to let me know she will <b>not</b> be able to preform my c-section. Instead, she must attend a memorial service for a dear friend of hers. Please pray that in the next 2 weeks another doctor will be able to familiarize themselves with my case and history and that everything will go smoothly and in our favor on April 4th!</div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4xoUfj6Z0hgSZCtSksBlByJTX2VnZIYK1Cw7I0hVp8wj5A78AezC7BSdsYDdve6bjAfVeTy-2bvKRzSZPJsbuuJpObz55RVLp688RpnsxFtyucYbKNFp2bEvFXRvVkAHOAqru4Spp4WE/s1600/DSCN1621.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4xoUfj6Z0hgSZCtSksBlByJTX2VnZIYK1Cw7I0hVp8wj5A78AezC7BSdsYDdve6bjAfVeTy-2bvKRzSZPJsbuuJpObz55RVLp688RpnsxFtyucYbKNFp2bEvFXRvVkAHOAqru4Spp4WE/s320/DSCN1621.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpFBchy0NciVDITKe9zSIYCoK0Ezu0E0VZKzEhlVoZFx4HHBAusa2QVLeA9SMNL4mR_uJwt8SyN_dKzf0n_2ghD24Z1YPMzU5LYg4J9y-dFp-qcr0esbiv1ysOJA-2AHsTguRRM7q-_9Q/s1600/DSCN1623.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgpFBchy0NciVDITKe9zSIYCoK0Ezu0E0VZKzEhlVoZFx4HHBAusa2QVLeA9SMNL4mR_uJwt8SyN_dKzf0n_2ghD24Z1YPMzU5LYg4J9y-dFp-qcr0esbiv1ysOJA-2AHsTguRRM7q-_9Q/s320/DSCN1623.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLrPA35lKyI9oH0A8y-lq9joklNm_O_XTH1xOIuXGyOgmPmghUXtCoIs5VUkULMlnUj6Rm8sv9Z_bBocIhmx34QeCFI3SYu0CMR1a0k7tPZYFurK4Q_8PhWtKS4y7oKtQCRVX5LFJoB_0/s1600/DSCN1620.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLrPA35lKyI9oH0A8y-lq9joklNm_O_XTH1xOIuXGyOgmPmghUXtCoIs5VUkULMlnUj6Rm8sv9Z_bBocIhmx34QeCFI3SYu0CMR1a0k7tPZYFurK4Q_8PhWtKS4y7oKtQCRVX5LFJoB_0/s320/DSCN1620.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
<br /></div>
</div>
Allisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12701721644810674175noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6587468166632901209.post-3157103339816384172013-02-21T11:10:00.000-08:002013-02-21T11:10:02.839-08:00The Countdown is On!There are only 5 1/2 short weeks left until our rainbow is born!!<br />
<br />
I say short, trying to convince myself that carrying these extra 30 lbs around with an aching back and a testy 2 1/2 year old, will go quickly :)<br />
<br />
Despite some of the daily struggles of pregnancy, (getting out of bed, trying to cut your toe nails, washing dishes, climbing steps, finding clothes to fit, constantly having to pee, etc...) the 3rd time around has not been too bad. I really doubted how my body would do this time, after having such horrible sciatic pain with Jordan. I guess my body has become accustom to being pregnant. After all, in the past 4 years I have been pregnant 3 times! By the time our rainbow appears, I could say I have 3 kids under 3 years old.<br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7wwi03IxWV-Yp5zPMA1nRLX4164cgECSju2LMysveMfxz7X4m5jgCuCPSc3CA1lHjR85tXyda4I-ZFzJmfH1gvv61WMHTsYqshPYDVCmVvzs6TFjURp07T6_Kf6SrMBpq5pbwB7Cg1Nw/s1600/DSCN1562.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7wwi03IxWV-Yp5zPMA1nRLX4164cgECSju2LMysveMfxz7X4m5jgCuCPSc3CA1lHjR85tXyda4I-ZFzJmfH1gvv61WMHTsYqshPYDVCmVvzs6TFjURp07T6_Kf6SrMBpq5pbwB7Cg1Nw/s320/DSCN1562.jpg" width="240" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Brady calls this shirt my "tent"</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
Lately, I have had high anxiety. I know what good and what bad can happen with babies and pregnancy. I have been praying for God to ease my anxieties and that is just what He is doing. The signs have not gone unnoticed.<br />
<br />
One particular sign appeared the other day. I randomly got out the Honda Odyssey booklet we obtained a few months back. I was paging through it with hopes that a mini van will be in my not so distant future. (Look out soccer moms! Minus the stick figures on my back window) As I flipped through, I came upon a page that pictures not only the stunning Honda Odyssey, but also a rainbow, a butterfly, and 2 fawns (new life). I stopped and smiled, taking in the beauty and meaning this page offered me. <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizxAVEPHTn_6yTGjna16R1EmH38VNcwiUDiyPvbX-hrgXy2k0LjvdcHtLTiS2p76toLh3BI2tam4vFyWeJ_KSM_JfUphcSwomIblkD90JdV2PoHxE4xDUqWdXWI5mXMrnDxH7qBPOvFLs/s1600/DSCN1560.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEizxAVEPHTn_6yTGjna16R1EmH38VNcwiUDiyPvbX-hrgXy2k0LjvdcHtLTiS2p76toLh3BI2tam4vFyWeJ_KSM_JfUphcSwomIblkD90JdV2PoHxE4xDUqWdXWI5mXMrnDxH7qBPOvFLs/s320/DSCN1560.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
In addition to the random signs of hope, my sister Katelyn created an amazing prayer calendar. It began on week 20 with thoughts, prayers, and quotes that my friends and family submitted for me. <br />
<br />
Katelyn is a very talented graphic artist. She created a beautiful rainbow and butterfly filled flip calendar that I seriously thought was store bought. <br />
<br />
I get excited to flip the calendar to the next page week after week to read the touching words people have put together for me. This also serves as a nice little countdown as well. The calendar alone has kept my spirits and hope high!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTC60n7GKx_Qe9_jf6W_bJgBOPgEcKiSHeclSsTMh4crAKjA6l-2zBKJlSp-FjCORpRNPlvekj2vAKUXCB1WBNhwlnhjd-RURYXxI9LttKCUUcCC6MBE-CDmAFmcIH1FUgeFwu7qorozY/s1600/DSCN1571.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjTC60n7GKx_Qe9_jf6W_bJgBOPgEcKiSHeclSsTMh4crAKjA6l-2zBKJlSp-FjCORpRNPlvekj2vAKUXCB1WBNhwlnhjd-RURYXxI9LttKCUUcCC6MBE-CDmAFmcIH1FUgeFwu7qorozY/s320/DSCN1571.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />Allisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12701721644810674175noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6587468166632901209.post-48740125151676994142013-02-03T18:41:00.000-08:002013-02-03T18:41:35.374-08:00Finished Bath<br />
<br />
After a two week remodel, the boy's bathroom is finally done! It was only suppose to take 5-7 days, but after some miscommunication with the contractor and having to order more tile for the tub, we are finally done!<br />
<br />
Each day the "guys" were here, we would be excited to check out the progress. Brady was a real trooper taking naps through some of the loudest construction. He was excited to see "the guys" each day and he would even say goodnight to his new bathroom each night. <br />
<br />
The nursery is still a work in progress. The wains coating is up, but Chad still needs to got over it with a coat of paint. The pressure is on...only 2 more months until baby #3 joins the family! <br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzYwIz_A7YBXCsi8n2jyO3lgrTr5pFCZsu1a2T1cyqDwBN4JGVshxgZ1ZCUeXrUKkForgqr6EHLBagA9qiCz2gw7mKdCajHR20HC1-WeeV35RNDcRE55mOAo_5a2Tefx441u-RQ4ITqq4/s1600/DSCN1533.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzYwIz_A7YBXCsi8n2jyO3lgrTr5pFCZsu1a2T1cyqDwBN4JGVshxgZ1ZCUeXrUKkForgqr6EHLBagA9qiCz2gw7mKdCajHR20HC1-WeeV35RNDcRE55mOAo_5a2Tefx441u-RQ4ITqq4/s320/DSCN1533.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZFLba-1LqA5KVyydQr3Z8nmDcxLxyaVRpbJf-YxNNR0uAxqdDjWuTTkNhQrP62uEVl1iKahfj-TQU_nMeWKlxRN0jBtRHCklLBQStcBQN2QF_ThszdThsaY8EDNhsDvaGT0uml2NFd2I/s1600/DSCN1534.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZFLba-1LqA5KVyydQr3Z8nmDcxLxyaVRpbJf-YxNNR0uAxqdDjWuTTkNhQrP62uEVl1iKahfj-TQU_nMeWKlxRN0jBtRHCklLBQStcBQN2QF_ThszdThsaY8EDNhsDvaGT0uml2NFd2I/s320/DSCN1534.JPG" width="240" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiW8o17yfj0Pn9eW8rsidlOnr-Xn1RivSKDxXyR3rhaiNh-V3B_B0eBSpUyTnBDnR6KnClMCcjPEX-A7q8Jm2fkI17aTYb2PmRrv_KKUU-XTra2eqA6Ri8HotZwvHaLlLWEkj0M4LwQjqc/s1600/DSCN1530.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiW8o17yfj0Pn9eW8rsidlOnr-Xn1RivSKDxXyR3rhaiNh-V3B_B0eBSpUyTnBDnR6KnClMCcjPEX-A7q8Jm2fkI17aTYb2PmRrv_KKUU-XTra2eqA6Ri8HotZwvHaLlLWEkj0M4LwQjqc/s320/DSCN1530.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />Allisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12701721644810674175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6587468166632901209.post-16679481957066125552013-01-28T11:12:00.002-08:002013-01-28T11:12:21.176-08:00SuperstitionsI would not consider myself obsessively superstitious, but I do have some superstitions especially when it comes to trying to avoid something bad from happening. We all know how horrible my last delivery went and so this time, I am trying to doing somethings differently during my pregnancy, hoping that we do not have a similar experience. <br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;">Last Time:</span><br />
1. I didn't prepare a nursery<br />
2. I didn't buy anything new for the baby.<br />
3. I had a name picked out and announced.<br />
4. I did NOT announce my pregnancy on Facebook.<br />
5. I delivered at Butler Memorial Hospital.<br />
6. I was negative and complained often about pain and discomfort.<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;">With Brady and This time:</span><br />
1. I did/ will prepare a nursery.<br />
2. I did/ am buying some new things for the baby.<br />
3. I didn't/ don't have a name picked out OR announced.<br />
4. I did/ am announcing my pregnancy on FB and posting pictures and updates.<br />
5. I did/ will be delivering at Reading Hospital.<br />
6. I was/ am positive and keep the complaining to a minimum. The discomfort was/ is minimal.<br />
<br />
Whether these differences will make a difference or not, I feel better about not repeating what I did last time. Unfortunately I have been "ruined" after delivering Jordan. I know that life is not guaranteed, so I have a stiff guard up even though I can feel the excitement and ignorance popping through once again. <br />
<br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdbBWCDFVPV6PR4t9qn4GWlWHUWSy7dfM00aM2dYLvjs5Er7CaqJS05U4rtd1ujaydQTQC2fj0zianjiYJx2WbaQYq2TBA65m7Tq0E236OMOljT4BCq7wOpqrsr4bUKAWv0UwTy6m01mU/s1600/DSCN1492.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdbBWCDFVPV6PR4t9qn4GWlWHUWSy7dfM00aM2dYLvjs5Er7CaqJS05U4rtd1ujaydQTQC2fj0zianjiYJx2WbaQYq2TBA65m7Tq0E236OMOljT4BCq7wOpqrsr4bUKAWv0UwTy6m01mU/s320/DSCN1492.jpg" width="240" /></a>Being pregnant and expecting a child is an exciting and life-changing experience, no matter how many times you have been through it. I continue to pray that this upcoming life-changing event will end up making us feel overwhelmed with happiness and joy. I have already been down the shock and extreme disappointment road and am hoping a person only ever has to experience that at most, one time. Allisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12701721644810674175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6587468166632901209.post-50712513387670480522013-01-21T11:35:00.002-08:002013-01-21T11:38:03.354-08:00Operation Baby!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
There is a lot to consider when preparing for a baby. While pregnant with Jordan, we never really prepared much, knowing that we would not be staying in our Cranberry Township home. Looking back, it was a God sent. I didn't have to come home to a waiting nursery adorn with adorable baby decor in the midst of the worst grief I have ever felt. </div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Now that we are settled in our "forever" home, we are preparing a nursery where we <span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;">will </span>place our baby boy in April. In preparation, we had to first move Chad's home office from a bedroom to the basement. This project was completed soon after we found out we were expecting. </div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOGHaAdvj8PyBAE8LV_kxpfkPKGe557BuGI1Xj_F2-r5KGDRIOUbkXVljaw3rWcPloNnRzVK5CdfnSvzKV7SsCZqILVum0YuBIo8J81Y855J5DEGZ1GjbJM_rojVJ5pofmmumx_qxdUVA/s1600/DSCN1464.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiOGHaAdvj8PyBAE8LV_kxpfkPKGe557BuGI1Xj_F2-r5KGDRIOUbkXVljaw3rWcPloNnRzVK5CdfnSvzKV7SsCZqILVum0YuBIo8J81Y855J5DEGZ1GjbJM_rojVJ5pofmmumx_qxdUVA/s320/DSCN1464.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Now we are in the midst of painting what will become the nursery and remodeling the bathroom the boys will use. Chad and his dad worked hard over the weekend to paint the room a soft, powder blue. Our contractor will be finishing it with a white wains coating within the coming week. As our remodel takes place, Brady and I are keeping busy and trying to stay out of the way. On day one, we baked some chocolate chip cookies (just what I need). He even helped to do the dishes. </div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
We are excited for the home transitions as well as our family transition. It brings me joy to plan and prepare for the arrival of our 3rd child. Stay tuned for the end results! </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihL8mPPmCPcot59Oe-6mMvGnXS4Nbg8MWPuYkDAFoLz8szuaDU3Wq58y-qCweyySQqcBYsJSbRFjT_QIaBK2gHhoiseX3Buxa5qR2us1ZtvBz_H29EHDxRCZ0aTChZITM9bzEAnf4J-r8/s1600/DSCN1457.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihL8mPPmCPcot59Oe-6mMvGnXS4Nbg8MWPuYkDAFoLz8szuaDU3Wq58y-qCweyySQqcBYsJSbRFjT_QIaBK2gHhoiseX3Buxa5qR2us1ZtvBz_H29EHDxRCZ0aTChZITM9bzEAnf4J-r8/s320/DSCN1457.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7GX0o77RsI2RV4SflCnNk5gUhpwZfcLbbf4_6a-QpJREaDo_P59jD30fdwadfh_RyvWMQSah7IslfW5yxd-V1AolWVMYgiGxlf1Y21AJFEtkdew7n0_w5MBV5aHgCau_a3nvpcuZdwYU/s1600/DSCN1462.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7GX0o77RsI2RV4SflCnNk5gUhpwZfcLbbf4_6a-QpJREaDo_P59jD30fdwadfh_RyvWMQSah7IslfW5yxd-V1AolWVMYgiGxlf1Y21AJFEtkdew7n0_w5MBV5aHgCau_a3nvpcuZdwYU/s320/DSCN1462.JPG" width="240" /></a><br />
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihL8mPPmCPcot59Oe-6mMvGnXS4Nbg8MWPuYkDAFoLz8szuaDU3Wq58y-qCweyySQqcBYsJSbRFjT_QIaBK2gHhoiseX3Buxa5qR2us1ZtvBz_H29EHDxRCZ0aTChZITM9bzEAnf4J-r8/s1600/DSCN1457.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpCjDsCP_z5ENuwQHho0JKXVzkFJJd2Qe8ywELMbECzVFY33j4IiSuM6piPTNHR-mKXuvSWGXUuzfRkw1GDcvSv-VDAEChzv1xNqXvOtajzFYJlaWT3tlsD-L8vXSDGk7mFArNbrNc8zQ/s1600/DSCN1463.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhpCjDsCP_z5ENuwQHho0JKXVzkFJJd2Qe8ywELMbECzVFY33j4IiSuM6piPTNHR-mKXuvSWGXUuzfRkw1GDcvSv-VDAEChzv1xNqXvOtajzFYJlaWT3tlsD-L8vXSDGk7mFArNbrNc8zQ/s320/DSCN1463.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwe5JCo8FkORNqmyTap58yLgSDe_pxcWVWdP22B6cdyDdHZTptTxDcxsvLsU8WfHEl24R6fSFwu9mNUD50UoATfH8q5qsJUpB38kI7GZthQ_ImdPnvYCA3-5ya3L7Ldv4_hoRIS2r7XFI/s1600/DSCN1455.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwe5JCo8FkORNqmyTap58yLgSDe_pxcWVWdP22B6cdyDdHZTptTxDcxsvLsU8WfHEl24R6fSFwu9mNUD50UoATfH8q5qsJUpB38kI7GZthQ_ImdPnvYCA3-5ya3L7Ldv4_hoRIS2r7XFI/s320/DSCN1455.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBZEpkkH3xtigzcupCLsN83Dvzmxjh4I4mfcgiL2rCpKrNrFBCyObbDwf5FN-eppNKsLNGWMHC6DFZZsPz8gUv6-ApaK7ctDrH43thl0msCWjltMUdi2wiEQMmHsVVanaB0-UUaAau34U/s1600/DSCN1454.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjBZEpkkH3xtigzcupCLsN83Dvzmxjh4I4mfcgiL2rCpKrNrFBCyObbDwf5FN-eppNKsLNGWMHC6DFZZsPz8gUv6-ApaK7ctDrH43thl0msCWjltMUdi2wiEQMmHsVVanaB0-UUaAau34U/s320/DSCN1454.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />Allisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12701721644810674175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6587468166632901209.post-42815258365638127962013-01-08T18:41:00.000-08:002013-01-08T18:41:03.383-08:00Rainbow baby #1<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<br />
My sister and I have a lot in common. We both have toddlers. We both experienced neonatal death. We are/ were both pregnant with our rainbow babies. I have walked in my sister's steps since we began starting our families. Although I was married first, she was the first of us to get pregnant and ever since, our family histories are almost identical. <br />
<br />
So here we are...I am 25 weeks pregnant and she just had her RAINBOW baby!!! I could not be more thrilled for her and her family!! The weight of waiting has been lifted and they were granted their healthy, living baby!! <br />
<br />
Being that our family histories are so similar, I feel even more confident that in early April, I too will welcome a healthy, living baby! After all, what happens to her seems to also happen to me. Although my sister has her baby in her arms and I am stuck waiting another 3 months, I have the advantage of asking her all kinds of questions about her birth plan to make sure I am doing everything I should be doing to ensure the best possible outcome. <br />
<br />
I didn't always have a good relationship with my sister. It all started when my parents brought her home from the hospital 22 months later. I was horrified that I had to share the attention and since then, sharing has always been hard. Especially when it came to boys in high school. Now, 31 years later, I am blessed to have her. We are very close and often talk daily. Now our children will be close, in age anyway. <br />
<br />
Proud to announce the birth of Jocelyn Nikohl Kozlowski. Born 1/8/13:<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgilx0GvUf653RuuvaWLLf5ZIOhgIQa7IRTqcNxw3NXf5P-igCtwe-vZexQxCQYr8Ieudz9oR-ov_FXjWM2NMMNGBAZKjTeav9W5GZr8cAcZk7xCr20qbHV2BdAAAJAS1DHfUzPYrsN9e8/s1600/DSCN1439.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgilx0GvUf653RuuvaWLLf5ZIOhgIQa7IRTqcNxw3NXf5P-igCtwe-vZexQxCQYr8Ieudz9oR-ov_FXjWM2NMMNGBAZKjTeav9W5GZr8cAcZk7xCr20qbHV2BdAAAJAS1DHfUzPYrsN9e8/s320/DSCN1439.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijw2G_gGtCUPb9tn5eewc1QFrbflb6IIzElAhUp7BZlcSzSZxiDKZCdg5N-1ZnbHiGoQTPq5-GKZJi-vMF4YDv896FB_O3fWx5XsfhGVjmY7MVLN6aSQ9prH4xslpwMCgx6Nr7ZZexb8w/s1600/DSCN1437.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEijw2G_gGtCUPb9tn5eewc1QFrbflb6IIzElAhUp7BZlcSzSZxiDKZCdg5N-1ZnbHiGoQTPq5-GKZJi-vMF4YDv896FB_O3fWx5XsfhGVjmY7MVLN6aSQ9prH4xslpwMCgx6Nr7ZZexb8w/s320/DSCN1437.JPG" width="320" /></a><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhamWLItM0fmjhJ6xPf_FSGaMtHY7jVo7I_HM9rwuux0YQwk7UszIQrjMTwAqniTQIuQsY2Duk324qea1w6PP_ypjS3wBv0gRxASGW-G5KmySahZRwLYaqTs-6I-fnedKtUQ1Ia1yh0JrM/s1600/DSCN1438.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhamWLItM0fmjhJ6xPf_FSGaMtHY7jVo7I_HM9rwuux0YQwk7UszIQrjMTwAqniTQIuQsY2Duk324qea1w6PP_ypjS3wBv0gRxASGW-G5KmySahZRwLYaqTs-6I-fnedKtUQ1Ia1yh0JrM/s320/DSCN1438.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />Allisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12701721644810674175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6587468166632901209.post-58236054397896704202012-12-10T18:36:00.005-08:002012-12-10T18:36:48.638-08:00Chilly weather, warm hearts<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;"><b>Merry Christmas!!</b></span></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
Christmas is my favorite time of year. I love the Christmas lights, music, trees, and the warmth I feel during the holiday season. Last year my holiday spirit was lacking, but this year spirits are bright. Brady is at a <span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;">perfect</span> age to begin understanding the magic of Christmas! Not a weekend goes by that we aren't out doing something fun and taking in the warmth of the holiday. </div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
<br /></div>
<div style="margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px;">
I want to wish you and your family a Happy Holiday! Don't forget the true meaning of <span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: red;">Christ</span></span>mas! Many blessings!</div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhH2HSbfe2DkVPb1gyVIU7dzX18yanqwuKMlUzBlOD-MiKEf7xDP1kVXezxegFPbiklB0dQg3KTGYh0ykDYr0rVzw3jesXhjRfISlGt0wuw5Z2wXPgb961LRYBvwwzdv-SNs-0xsDhnOdA/s1600/DSCN1362.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhH2HSbfe2DkVPb1gyVIU7dzX18yanqwuKMlUzBlOD-MiKEf7xDP1kVXezxegFPbiklB0dQg3KTGYh0ykDYr0rVzw3jesXhjRfISlGt0wuw5Z2wXPgb961LRYBvwwzdv-SNs-0xsDhnOdA/s320/DSCN1362.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
Brady helped decorate the Christmas tree this year. He was very proud for his work.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBD-erbuUQhpfKMl_rJ2U7iqrgKIns2DYf2YC210yly77oE6i3rkzNpx6T3L6qZOo1bhm-W9BzWiD6i04KOJVhK9f0kDSgoq_NHt_JG9VThf33HgnVPCsi3yoL-9D8b08J70OLLhZR_zg/s1600/DSCN1380.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBD-erbuUQhpfKMl_rJ2U7iqrgKIns2DYf2YC210yly77oE6i3rkzNpx6T3L6qZOo1bhm-W9BzWiD6i04KOJVhK9f0kDSgoq_NHt_JG9VThf33HgnVPCsi3yoL-9D8b08J70OLLhZR_zg/s320/DSCN1380.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
A visit with Santa at Macy's in NYC!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqz39zphUPdnx1BA_Ef980YnlU4t6orSxhHHCnu_AvsUmX6S8n03xXq1ZpBXthb8pp5UAVfRELsxl8dHRWrWWItKIT2EYzN7OeePCtzU1xGjfCBimennVLBdoalxO_Lw8_WElj4aE-64E/s1600/DSCN1387.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiqz39zphUPdnx1BA_Ef980YnlU4t6orSxhHHCnu_AvsUmX6S8n03xXq1ZpBXthb8pp5UAVfRELsxl8dHRWrWWItKIT2EYzN7OeePCtzU1xGjfCBimennVLBdoalxO_Lw8_WElj4aE-64E/s320/DSCN1387.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
A Central Park carriage ride with me, my parents and Brady.<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqoO7GKG9VA1dKs3f8k2eYwm_IxtyGcAUETy3DsQjZat7SSd7ot8iAQOVcsZ2wG6_HIwUT30oK_oVMgNd1I-lyRvV0C2g9wP-vEnpzuNjT1v2i9XtLOFTolIjF92WnUl45sbUOsJsN8Lw/s1600/DSCN1394.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjqoO7GKG9VA1dKs3f8k2eYwm_IxtyGcAUETy3DsQjZat7SSd7ot8iAQOVcsZ2wG6_HIwUT30oK_oVMgNd1I-lyRvV0C2g9wP-vEnpzuNjT1v2i9XtLOFTolIjF92WnUl45sbUOsJsN8Lw/s320/DSCN1394.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
The bus ride home from NYC! I think he had fun :)<br />
<br />Allisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12701721644810674175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6587468166632901209.post-87430868993354219782012-11-27T17:38:00.004-08:002012-11-27T17:38:29.963-08:00Our Next StepsOver the past several months, we have talked and prayed about the direction of our family. <i>What does God want us to do? He obviously did not want us to have Jordan, for whatever reason. Would He want us to have another birth child? </i>In the beginning, I thought the answer was to adopt our next child. I was given a strong sign that adoption should be considered if not chosen. Over the summer, we began to peruse adoption and all that comes with it. After attending some informational meetings through 2 different agencies, we started to question if this was truly the right path for US. We knew that we wanted to do newborn, domestic adoption, but with that comes open adoption meaning that we would have to keep contacts with the birthparents. We felt uneasy with open adoption and what that could entail. That being said, we put our decision to proceed on the back burner. <br />
<br />
In the meantime, my Thirty-One consulting was lifting off and I was picking up tutoring clients as the school year began. My evenings were consumed with my fun, little jobs. We have not discussed adoption since early August mainly because we have been busy being happy just the way things were.<br />
<br />
Sometimes when you are busy being happy, things just happen....for a reason. After my <span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;">Soul Searching,</span> literally the day after, we found out we were expecting. With emotions of excitement, shock, and nervousness we now begin another lengthy nine months of pregnancy. Being pregnant has made me happy. I have not had any feeling of doubt, but instead hope and faith that this pregnancy WILL end happily. I am extremely hopeful and confident in my doctors and my prenatal care/plan. I am already in the 2nd trimester and have already had 3 ultrasounds. Things are looking good! <br />
<br />
Please keep my family and I in your prayers as we continue our journey to obtain our rainbow baby in April. (A baby born after a previous baby death). <br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;">What I want this time:</span><br />
1. Cards congratulating me on the birth of my new child.<br />
2. Smiling, happy visitors at the hospital.<br />
3. A planned c-section.<br />
4. To hear my baby cry when he/she is born.<br />
5. A HEALTHY, LIVING baby.<br />
6. PRAYERS<br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;">What I DON'T want:</span><br />
1. Sympathy Cards.<br />
2. To leave the hospital empty handed.<br />
3. Have to make funeral arrangements.<br />
4. Say goodbye before I say hello.<br />
5. My prayers to go unheard.<br />
6. To grieve the loss of <i>another</i> child.<br />
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFzaRLBnSWc_6MPV4DoAcbw3hnPM3IyknGCCcFHX2mNm_h-vOW5F9dDX44yVoVYJybk_48ujP4PVb2DgXMBNkLDnP8sUao6-QRqIqbtuPNBO75mUpSKBipZxAv3AbROeOXCebOpBz1hv4/s1600/DSCN1334.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhFzaRLBnSWc_6MPV4DoAcbw3hnPM3IyknGCCcFHX2mNm_h-vOW5F9dDX44yVoVYJybk_48ujP4PVb2DgXMBNkLDnP8sUao6-QRqIqbtuPNBO75mUpSKBipZxAv3AbROeOXCebOpBz1hv4/s320/DSCN1334.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
18 weeks.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Allisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12701721644810674175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6587468166632901209.post-34911452162289616582012-11-16T09:29:00.000-08:002012-11-16T09:29:32.680-08:00AnniversariesWhen you hear the word "anniversary" you think of something happy. Normally the celebration of another year of marriage, but what happens when you have to "celebrate" the anniversary of ones death? How do you celebrate death? <br />
<br />
I have been kicking around ideas of ways to honor and remember Jordan on his first birthday, 11/16/12. 1. Do you bake a cake and sing "Happy Birthday" to someone who isn't living?<br />
2. Do you mope around all day waiting for the day to pass?<br />
3. Do you go through the box of memories you have created since the death?<br />
4. Do you donate money to an organization in his honor?<br />
<br />
There is no easy answer to this question and there is no right or wrong way of celebrating/remembering someone who has passed. There is what I came up with this year.<br />
<br />
1. I baked cupcakes and decorated them with butterflies. I shared them with my friday morning prayer group.<br />
2. I asked people to color butterflies in Jordan's honor. What and awesome response we received!<br />
3. Chad and I went out on a date! We went to a matinée movie and to dinner while my parents watched Brady.<br />
4. We donated money to the Children's Hospital of Pittsburgh in Jordan's name.<br />
5. We release three helium filled balloons to heaven.<br />
6. And yes, we did some moping around too. After all, this is not a happy day for us, but we are making the best of it together.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5jL_PMr6rEYBWVJwzv1lpnR29vNVTSoq51ZZezhlrngMSuzxC2uPolP6EMgi9odeNOHZK6CT8bIJQDX3u3SU-m8nWw8EOlhx4c4WaO6wwJ0zQXkf9v7tgMHcEmFY3kft7ii3xi8I1SUk/s1600/DSCN1304.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5jL_PMr6rEYBWVJwzv1lpnR29vNVTSoq51ZZezhlrngMSuzxC2uPolP6EMgi9odeNOHZK6CT8bIJQDX3u3SU-m8nWw8EOlhx4c4WaO6wwJ0zQXkf9v7tgMHcEmFY3kft7ii3xi8I1SUk/s320/DSCN1304.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMs0MWz9mTQJiwEHQ3aoLGp6sAQ0Z18a_ajL5lDQdNB_cMIbAw8wSaqdd-0Xgv6FQriR2yHV9FX1TsjU2MHu2WMQ0ZX_PeM4lMvF5JKo6LDUEcO2jEfrfRGqccsLlIf9nfMtq86oV28rc/s1600/DSCN1306.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiMs0MWz9mTQJiwEHQ3aoLGp6sAQ0Z18a_ajL5lDQdNB_cMIbAw8wSaqdd-0Xgv6FQriR2yHV9FX1TsjU2MHu2WMQ0ZX_PeM4lMvF5JKo6LDUEcO2jEfrfRGqccsLlIf9nfMtq86oV28rc/s320/DSCN1306.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjVaETO9T-AYRipzzFcOBnGqhsP5TLmD92mC_w4zqsDpeo4W6u1q0WfoRkw3ggHtSQQhelsPxNM2UDWO-KVKI8LG3zHw_5yVpkH_92xFv5X1Dakzh42nTHNJnGVO1V2PyU-vzh4966tQw/s1600/DSCN1307.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgjVaETO9T-AYRipzzFcOBnGqhsP5TLmD92mC_w4zqsDpeo4W6u1q0WfoRkw3ggHtSQQhelsPxNM2UDWO-KVKI8LG3zHw_5yVpkH_92xFv5X1Dakzh42nTHNJnGVO1V2PyU-vzh4966tQw/s320/DSCN1307.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCrS666gr1NZRdrMaLfucgnElTmWN7ttxXzIZcxsXtA0LY9XRfs5Gx8BI81o8JmCMZUhO50IiKsWEaFM09XrVTrYsYw2NU_Bbkl8MO0avgK3KMlAtFgib0g4WJx2miic4STzMS0LH20S4/s1600/DSCN1308.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgCrS666gr1NZRdrMaLfucgnElTmWN7ttxXzIZcxsXtA0LY9XRfs5Gx8BI81o8JmCMZUhO50IiKsWEaFM09XrVTrYsYw2NU_Bbkl8MO0avgK3KMlAtFgib0g4WJx2miic4STzMS0LH20S4/s320/DSCN1308.JPG" width="240" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYuGjz1u2bQG1rXYL936Ao0yQbX4zrnBOPItkCC0pkGJvG_eKV8U36K9U3LSPRb56j9bbCyAs_CFBliweTp2TbXSLND7bP0ePn078aEiQtXsTUYHGHCiH5BOPJUrVtnVl96JJ99jUgYtQ/s1600/DSCN1309.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYuGjz1u2bQG1rXYL936Ao0yQbX4zrnBOPItkCC0pkGJvG_eKV8U36K9U3LSPRb56j9bbCyAs_CFBliweTp2TbXSLND7bP0ePn078aEiQtXsTUYHGHCiH5BOPJUrVtnVl96JJ99jUgYtQ/s320/DSCN1309.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9ZaLvYNxC-CigBjuQIBhGBD4vq66xC7FdoqaCnzvRdbqM9yIVGJw5r9Gd7SGKS6ZDViKPMYgoz-7ZUOsDb9KZZNWBY7He5Wv2PHQ3Nc9_prUu123kIjzn7TPX1FspZ2kCvzurcG8oHEs/s1600/DSCN1303.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj9ZaLvYNxC-CigBjuQIBhGBD4vq66xC7FdoqaCnzvRdbqM9yIVGJw5r9Gd7SGKS6ZDViKPMYgoz-7ZUOsDb9KZZNWBY7He5Wv2PHQ3Nc9_prUu123kIjzn7TPX1FspZ2kCvzurcG8oHEs/s320/DSCN1303.JPG" width="320" /></a><br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Thank you for all the prayers, cards, and support you have provided to my family and I over this difficult time. We are blessed to be surrounded by people who care. </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
Happy 1st Birthday to our sweet angel, Jordan! We love you!</div>
Allisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12701721644810674175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6587468166632901209.post-85897002972849397582012-10-30T11:40:00.003-07:002012-10-30T11:40:52.200-07:00A New Hope<br />
<div style="text-align: center;">
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;">A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words</span></b></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgiuPeGPsjcrNRQBK-KncwUYJm_KqM4pylgXbLndc69-fbwphHtJgGRuM7dH3CQ0_axjf2jRelFeEqM5LIyY9uXZZLQKTq5_goWYBGQwfPTYoEoeW-eDL4ySgt0eH4UReoH-fVfLJPIzA/s1600/DSCN1200.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhgiuPeGPsjcrNRQBK-KncwUYJm_KqM4pylgXbLndc69-fbwphHtJgGRuM7dH3CQ0_axjf2jRelFeEqM5LIyY9uXZZLQKTq5_goWYBGQwfPTYoEoeW-eDL4ySgt0eH4UReoH-fVfLJPIzA/s320/DSCN1200.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
Our Announcement photo. </div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC_2rb-r1p_q9a4XQ5Rn_CGKvSXjeF1Y4a_nYzUGdJnHW8wXmlfBsNIpV3ZNDLpx7pZoXZKcEhu0FaC6hJiQvAZa0dSFeL17fFL532Ks7eKFqIlHuJ85STW3A_bod4w_wg4kkEbyAqZ7k/s1600/Scan1.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjC_2rb-r1p_q9a4XQ5Rn_CGKvSXjeF1Y4a_nYzUGdJnHW8wXmlfBsNIpV3ZNDLpx7pZoXZKcEhu0FaC6hJiQvAZa0dSFeL17fFL532Ks7eKFqIlHuJ85STW3A_bod4w_wg4kkEbyAqZ7k/s320/Scan1.jpeg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Our first ultrasound at 7 weeks</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKx34NTfA9pbb-1mICzMLmPVs9qvq13F_dg4WXHV6r6lgNDGp8nOSeULWblWFvnMoytg-2fArGHbKA7Uu9GNnmErXbm_yFEl7GWj15JT5xZbccz2hqx-pBZidv9WCS1WISy8oX4UjFPWc/s1600/DSCN1240.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhKx34NTfA9pbb-1mICzMLmPVs9qvq13F_dg4WXHV6r6lgNDGp8nOSeULWblWFvnMoytg-2fArGHbKA7Uu9GNnmErXbm_yFEl7GWj15JT5xZbccz2hqx-pBZidv9WCS1WISy8oX4UjFPWc/s320/DSCN1240.jpg" width="240" /></a></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
14 weeks!</div>
Allisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12701721644810674175noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6587468166632901209.post-72950283940252735352012-10-10T11:26:00.000-07:002012-10-10T11:26:10.676-07:00My InsecuritiesDon't we ALL have insecurities? I never really recognized I had insecurities until I began reading, "So Long Insecurity, You've Been a Bad Friend" By Beth Moore. Some people are more aware of their insecurities, mine just never surfaced until reading this book and learning all the different types. <br />
<br />
Well, one major insecurity I deal with is fear. Fear of another loss, fear of failing, fear of something terrible happening to my family. I have begun being fearful since the loss of Jordan. There was NO good reason for his death. He was an innocent baby taken way TOO soon! Why? Because of it, I fear for my family's safety at all times. Life is fragile and precious! <br />
<br />
I do realize that I cannot live my life in<b> fear</b>. That God has the ultimate say as to what is going to happen. My prayers have gone unheard before when I asked God for a healthy, living baby BUT I continue to pray because I know HE is listening. He may not always give me what I want, but He hears my cries. He knows I am still in pain and I know HE wants me to be happy. <br />
<br />
Another insecurity I have is wondering what people think of me. Since I have starting having children and writing on this blog, my life has NOT been perfect by any stretch of the imagination. I am pretty blunt honest on my blog and I hope people appreciate it and don't judge me for my feelings. After all, you have never walked a mile in my moccasins. (Some of you are probably breathing a sigh of relief) Loss is NOT fun. Especially when its a child. <br />
<br />
I have worried about people <b>judging me</b> for my ability to bring life into the world. My first was born with hemifacial microsomnia. Meaning that one side of his precious face is visibly smaller in size than the other. This birth defect is nothing more than a lighting strike! It is not genetic, we just happened to be a statistic. Brady is an amazing little boy. At this age, he is not aware that he is different in any way. Developmentally, he is on point. Each day he wakes up and gives me a huge smile and a bear hug! He is such a lover and a gift! I like to say that being normal is BORING! My second effort to bring life into the world failed miserably and I was left with a gaping hole in my heart. This was yet another example of a lighting strike...fetal hemorrhage only happens to one in one million people.<br />
<br />
Well people, I have news for you! I don't like to take NO for an answer, especially when it comes to my family. I can tell you, we are not done here. Call me crazy, but we WILL have another child at some point during this crazy road of life. Wish me luck and better statistics!<br />
<br />
We all have insecurities even if you are the type that hides them well. This book I am reading in a book/prayer group has been instrumental, being around and talking to other women who are experiencing all different situations in life. One can really learn from the journeys others have taken. <br />
<br />
I hope I didn't ramble too much! My emotions are on high with the one year anniversary for Jordan's birth looming.Allisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12701721644810674175noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6587468166632901209.post-80767993415653472042012-09-16T18:02:00.003-07:002012-09-16T18:02:57.242-07:00A Few Chapters!I feel like it has been a little while since I updated the blog, so I will do this post in a few <span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;">short </span>chapters! <br />
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>Chapter 1: My Sister</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;"><b><br /></b></span>
Several weeks ago, my niece celebrated her 3rd Birthday! It seems like just yesterday I was cursing my sister's name for getting pregnant before me. LOL. No seriously I did! Kam is doing great and plays SO well with Brady. They are the best of buddies! A few weeks ago, Kate and her family came for dinner. As they were leaving, Kam leaned in to whisper something to me. (Kate had just told her something to tell me) I waited for her to remember what she was told and repeat it to me. Soon she squeaked out, "Mommy is growing me a baby in her belly."<br />
<br />
YAY!!! I was so excited for them! She is currently 22ish weeks pregnant. They found out they are having another girl! Kam is SO excited to be a big sister. (I'm sure Kohl is excited to be a big brother too) Please keep my sister and her family in your thoughts and prayers as they are nervous this time through. She is in good hands and I have faith that they will be blessed with a beautiful, healthy, baby in January!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBhfm_6p2xaH6blctss7Z82H9fBKd-UyplI6PL4BrPyohPFSkBKb8sKdnBXx9f4dqC7aE99BprIznrCzz4nji56QD43Due0yCmLJMkhSSALfGpmz6LVtJLuiwuHztG9Z0CPeheeLcIRFU/s1600/DSCN1089.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgBhfm_6p2xaH6blctss7Z82H9fBKd-UyplI6PL4BrPyohPFSkBKb8sKdnBXx9f4dqC7aE99BprIznrCzz4nji56QD43Due0yCmLJMkhSSALfGpmz6LVtJLuiwuHztG9Z0CPeheeLcIRFU/s320/DSCN1089.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<br />
<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;">Chapter 2: Brady the Animal Lover</span></b><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;"><b><br /></b></span>
Brady is just like is me in that he LOVES animals. Luckily, my parents live on a mini farm and we can go over whenever we want. They have an array of horses, dogs, cats, and chickens. Brady has NO fear when facing an animal of any size head on. The other week when we were over visiting, Brady was petting the horses. As we drove the golf cart away, he began rubbing his eyes. Next thing you know his left eye swelled up with hives and began to water. I took him to the doctor and by the next morning he was perfectly fine.<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYNcmbC3CJV1AX_8U-uiNiz90OVXhmXSZG1P7lL0ew30DqM8BCBeLScu4NTTHxcJz5H8iw3b3adgwLTHWuEdUxw3NSLttcmK8sICyW49dfstA-Gna31-uV6JrvFlMpr67KM4p6WAyqWJM/s1600/DSCN1069.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhYNcmbC3CJV1AX_8U-uiNiz90OVXhmXSZG1P7lL0ew30DqM8BCBeLScu4NTTHxcJz5H8iw3b3adgwLTHWuEdUxw3NSLttcmK8sICyW49dfstA-Gna31-uV6JrvFlMpr67KM4p6WAyqWJM/s320/DSCN1069.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
A couple weeks later, we went to visit again. My mom had just adopted 5 new barn kittens. Brady was so anxious to pick them up and carry them around. This time, I learned my lesson and brought plenty of wipes for his hands. He just LOVES animals. Look at the smile on his face! haha<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikKcGEaXy7xbMSs31PhHkdG0hjjoHpJ_aEMMPaKue0VJ9lZ5b3x5oFFCeLaFuqOsV8v6UlCGL5G9iJyIfc3rKBr-p3AGqxvR9scEFulWkEPU_queac8qKoJF44iTy1IhwlEktSS6MFpac/s1600/photo-19+cat.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEikKcGEaXy7xbMSs31PhHkdG0hjjoHpJ_aEMMPaKue0VJ9lZ5b3x5oFFCeLaFuqOsV8v6UlCGL5G9iJyIfc3rKBr-p3AGqxvR9scEFulWkEPU_queac8qKoJF44iTy1IhwlEktSS6MFpac/s320/photo-19+cat.jpg" width="239" /></a></div>
<br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;"><b>Chapter 3: Annie and her 5Ks</b></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;"><b><br /></b></span>
Annie is a friend that I met while we lived in Cranberry Twp. She has a little girl named Meredith who is only a few weeks older than Brady. The two of them became good friends and we saw them often. Annie and I would do a stroller strength class at our YMCA three times per week, not to mention all the other activities in between. Annie has been a great friend and has been a wonderful support for me through my pregnancy with Jordan and after during the grief!<br />
<br />
Annie was one of the my teammates who ran the Pittsburgh relay back in May. She continues to update me with her personal goal. Her goal is to run at least one 5K per month in memory of Jordan! Each time she wears her Angel shirt that we wore during the relay! Her most recent 5K took place today. What a great friend! <br />
<br />
Thanks Annie for always remembering my little guy! It means the world to me :)<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQygIzE8d2eZ_Zl2MPUM2LYQfCARPeRWzEsG1P8NvXQ1Gr87YFiv92uBW4iQjiivuJo8DkwwAZgwGdiGBLjyiRJim_3FXQacj2UnNkcY9ian5cyo8CwAgYLrHCYg5q9AC5PDfAZCrUWHs/s1600/DSCN0679.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQygIzE8d2eZ_Zl2MPUM2LYQfCARPeRWzEsG1P8NvXQ1Gr87YFiv92uBW4iQjiivuJo8DkwwAZgwGdiGBLjyiRJim_3FXQacj2UnNkcY9ian5cyo8CwAgYLrHCYg5q9AC5PDfAZCrUWHs/s320/DSCN0679.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />Allisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12701721644810674175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6587468166632901209.post-30781792999505845602012-08-16T11:15:00.005-07:002012-08-16T11:15:59.852-07:00Soul SearchingAfter you have been a stay-at-home mom for a couple years, even a couple weeks, you begin to wonder if you should continue your professional career. In my case, I feel guilt about not financially contributing to the family. I have been waiting for a job opportunity to fall into my lap and well, one fell and I began pursuing what I thought was a "meant to be job." <br />
<br />
I was given the amazing opportunity to interview for any one of 3 elementary positions in the district where we reside. REGULAR EDUCATION!! Was this my "out" of special ed? I took the timing and potential positions as a sign. This was my break. A way to begin contributing to the family funds again. A way to get my foot into the regular, elementary setting. I landed an informal interview, which ended up going well because they invited me back for a second interview. I welcomed the second interview, knowing I would have to prepare and teach a 3rd grade language arts lesson to several administrators. <br />
<br />
I wasted no time as I began to brainstorm the perfect lesson to teach. I spent Brady's entire nap-time gathering ideas and creating worksheets to use. I continued working feverishly that evening to complete the lesson plan and all the components I would need to teach a successful lesson. As I was preparing, I couldn't help but think whether this was <i>really </i>the right move. After all, I just started doing some tutoring and independent consulting for a company. Thoughts began to pour into my already overwhelmed head:<br />
1. School starts next week!!??<br />
2. What will I do with Brady?<br />
3. I am already making <span class="Apple-style-span" style="text-decoration: underline;">some</span> money.<br />
4. What about that beach vacation we were planning next week?<br />
5. What if I get the job and I just can't juggle everything else?<br />
6. I know what a nightmare I can be when I am stressed! Look Out!!<br />
7. Could I continue to be a good wife and mom AND hold a full-time job?<br />
<br />
There were SO many unknowns. I woke up this morning with my stomach in knots over the lesson and potentially accepting a teaching position. Is being a teacher really worth it at this point in my life? NO. So there you have it! By 8 AM this morning, I was on the phone pulling out of the running. When I hung up, I felt a sense of relief. At this time in my life, it just wasn't "meant to be."<br />
<br />
Instead, I will continue being a much appreciated stay-at-home mom! Just check out all the fun things we do together! I really don't want to miss one second of it! Life is TOO short!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfqKi-Nhr8GXEOsnrmTYURADNP_dRZhEVEajod8kpk7160Y_IIE19uMHZrsbGBCIVTC7DWZfproEh0KsM_uTpoBWeAQRKVl4EbOE2PQ3JDs5ZowlKLqlTW3cELuPLsqeevJx-k0LQfHKo/s1600/DSCN0986.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhfqKi-Nhr8GXEOsnrmTYURADNP_dRZhEVEajod8kpk7160Y_IIE19uMHZrsbGBCIVTC7DWZfproEh0KsM_uTpoBWeAQRKVl4EbOE2PQ3JDs5ZowlKLqlTW3cELuPLsqeevJx-k0LQfHKo/s320/DSCN0986.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
He keeps me busier than a classroom full of elementary kids!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLa6hbrD2XEGiR5vMhYBr-jvN0lOzfgjq7Tu40OzcBg2264dOjKE1UPPt0SqhkHYK4mtkyEvtNzNuxmmmbl_ZN7WDxA04vNG9u9_e6k9fDGDF6-FKgPyQ6KpxqFW2VxQs7QzJKdyNkntA/s1600/DSCN0976.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLa6hbrD2XEGiR5vMhYBr-jvN0lOzfgjq7Tu40OzcBg2264dOjKE1UPPt0SqhkHYK4mtkyEvtNzNuxmmmbl_ZN7WDxA04vNG9u9_e6k9fDGDF6-FKgPyQ6KpxqFW2VxQs7QzJKdyNkntA/s320/DSCN0976.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
What a good BIG brother he would have been!! Someday!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj91_HLTcoM-4ZwXPhArmySLDtNrgRs_hGqCJuBVE5tAUmUdVF3Jd7YYY6w-hu3XTcexi3w7N4RZvOaO2YVHYiI1HN4tgEyP28QwcJGBdlMh2zNwxxrhW6nbfWl4GwxB1-01JnWQB_TFHg/s1600/DSCN0931.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj91_HLTcoM-4ZwXPhArmySLDtNrgRs_hGqCJuBVE5tAUmUdVF3Jd7YYY6w-hu3XTcexi3w7N4RZvOaO2YVHYiI1HN4tgEyP28QwcJGBdlMh2zNwxxrhW6nbfWl4GwxB1-01JnWQB_TFHg/s320/DSCN0931.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
Giving Big Bird a BIG hug!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Allisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12701721644810674175noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6587468166632901209.post-52557254674863349002012-07-26T18:17:00.000-07:002012-07-26T18:17:23.775-07:00Brady's SafariAs an infant, we never decorated a nursery for Brady. I always wanted to do something cute, but just never got around to it. Moving to a house with a blank canvas motivated me to do something amazing. I contacted a woman who does wall murals that I had known since high school. She came in prior to us moving and painted Brady's room in two days!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwntL7NKCm73Ta50OSDG0LqUg-izUnr5rCMLsRkkj_a6L_jeOH-1xTUrH5ZcACEFg_gTk8ZivJapYvuSbqlADcJ-DNGM10Reu1VPlPKjC63b_QbAlKPxaPeQ4IJUQKGOuiFzygJF69Bb4/s1600/DSCN0846.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwntL7NKCm73Ta50OSDG0LqUg-izUnr5rCMLsRkkj_a6L_jeOH-1xTUrH5ZcACEFg_gTk8ZivJapYvuSbqlADcJ-DNGM10Reu1VPlPKjC63b_QbAlKPxaPeQ4IJUQKGOuiFzygJF69Bb4/s320/DSCN0846.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
Brady just loves his new room! He enjoys naming all of the animals and saying goodnight to them at bedtime. <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxAmOYdjRqYoUacaStOgIlcdR0bqDD456xETX1SGEHYfKsjtV0asrxcyCaVSnEkCw34lL9Xnc7F0QPj0TbSa7Hgn9XH2qnVXvhvxakQPLcLokxu7ZjQdQdu9sM-XifIIfHS7luleyIQ2o/s1600/DSCN0848.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhxAmOYdjRqYoUacaStOgIlcdR0bqDD456xETX1SGEHYfKsjtV0asrxcyCaVSnEkCw34lL9Xnc7F0QPj0TbSa7Hgn9XH2qnVXvhvxakQPLcLokxu7ZjQdQdu9sM-XifIIfHS7luleyIQ2o/s320/DSCN0848.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGBl8uwnZja810y0lFj1T3EqT2i4bGvEKPu1_FQGbWdh0JrOtF-mF52qEcIjib0yZSE3H-V3nMVzY2JtspGZCvz5Nte9_lAtuGZ0_l63D8lgcCvvKvIBBo3w92TdNkSSLjQgVO910JVkM/s1600/DSCN0851.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjGBl8uwnZja810y0lFj1T3EqT2i4bGvEKPu1_FQGbWdh0JrOtF-mF52qEcIjib0yZSE3H-V3nMVzY2JtspGZCvz5Nte9_lAtuGZ0_l63D8lgcCvvKvIBBo3w92TdNkSSLjQgVO910JVkM/s320/DSCN0851.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
As always, Jordan is on the fore front of our minds. Cathy painted these two canvas paintings of the constellation that helps us find Jordan's star from the International Star Registry. They were placed above Brady's closet doors. I liked the fact that they can be moved, when the safari themed room get to be "too childish" in the very FAR future :)<br />
<br />
If you live in the Berks County area, I would totally recommend Cathy Chervanick. You can visit her website at: http://www.cathychervanick.com/<br />
<br />Allisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12701721644810674175noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6587468166632901209.post-60729477406105443552012-07-26T18:03:00.001-07:002012-07-26T18:03:32.271-07:00Remember My Friend Toni?Well, she and her two precious kids came to visit us last weekend! It has been about 7 weeks since we moved from Cranberry and have seen them. Brady and his buddy D picked up where they left off. It was as if they were never apart. Toni's daughter, A, is 7 years old and played with the boys really well. Their stay was short, but very fun!<br />
<br />
We are blessed with their friendship and can't wait to plan our next get together!<br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7bTJWDUXJMjaiqrFdIwZ7oSeWLGmqxzZPGZuX6DpfQpmELtOmKLk0BfSK68Kx_dZh0j8C9qWW-ZUCzY_CfaYxysaXIrqVlu_lXFKZlAYfKZl2wmnYpveK5jiTbAjFToVgt0o0vU7u_UM/s1600/DSCN0844.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg7bTJWDUXJMjaiqrFdIwZ7oSeWLGmqxzZPGZuX6DpfQpmELtOmKLk0BfSK68Kx_dZh0j8C9qWW-ZUCzY_CfaYxysaXIrqVlu_lXFKZlAYfKZl2wmnYpveK5jiTbAjFToVgt0o0vU7u_UM/s320/DSCN0844.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzwBIJnLtoX9hJM77p2ilyAhNcX4hGU5Q_kedy01JD-58VEQATsLcjcu6o0SPQWgHrhdjaC8mysc7PqyLwS7r-mJYVqEvNiLIFcfMw11FWMFteWwpW0CeZBuQMO7N8pJdpX4iR_fjWK0c/s1600/DSCN0841.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgzwBIJnLtoX9hJM77p2ilyAhNcX4hGU5Q_kedy01JD-58VEQATsLcjcu6o0SPQWgHrhdjaC8mysc7PqyLwS7r-mJYVqEvNiLIFcfMw11FWMFteWwpW0CeZBuQMO7N8pJdpX4iR_fjWK0c/s320/DSCN0841.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiJqbLcBsw4HdDYLZTtQkM6fTKFn7Y48W5GUMPY1cd0u3MfNONVe_SgVZwSb79wBqYIPa5vl-2rXIN2cNFSBnmgVGQG6vRCsPuFtO5tlQovjonqvWMlmyupN14-DXuHhkxFn9yGlySxKI/s1600/DSCN0838.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiJqbLcBsw4HdDYLZTtQkM6fTKFn7Y48W5GUMPY1cd0u3MfNONVe_SgVZwSb79wBqYIPa5vl-2rXIN2cNFSBnmgVGQG6vRCsPuFtO5tlQovjonqvWMlmyupN14-DXuHhkxFn9yGlySxKI/s320/DSCN0838.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZL4mCvWgJ5q_WrnBxk7B81ospqCeh7LrhF_lI_VI3QY1nOfqUKPnlJMLIeYC4Byf3Yhhlgymp6sBNeIexq52SZSt8HuxsD0o0su7VroksYw-lxNY6teiyni0MWO0Iawj5eadTKGPBuRU/s1600/DSCN0834.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="240" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiZL4mCvWgJ5q_WrnBxk7B81ospqCeh7LrhF_lI_VI3QY1nOfqUKPnlJMLIeYC4Byf3Yhhlgymp6sBNeIexq52SZSt8HuxsD0o0su7VroksYw-lxNY6teiyni0MWO0Iawj5eadTKGPBuRU/s320/DSCN0834.JPG" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />Allisonhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12701721644810674175noreply@blogger.com1