2 More Weeks!

40 weeks is a long time to wait for anything, let alone a child!  I feel like a kid waiting for Santa's arrival.  We are prepared to welcome our 3rd son in less than 2 weeks!  We have been busy washing baby clothes and putting the finishing touches on the nursery.  We have a name picked and I just got done registering with the Reading Hospital.  The only thing missing is the baby!  

Recently the days seem to crawl.  Brady and I are waiting for Spring to poke its head out and show us some warmer weather.  Instead, we have been anchored to the house not only because of the cold, but also because Brady can't seem to handle himself in public.  I am thankful for the break when my parents volunteer to take him for the day so I can run some errands.  

It wont be long now until I have two little boys to care for.  I can't wait!! Sleepless nights are just around the corner.  And so is the joy of raising another child.  

Prayer Request: The doctor that I have been seeing throughout my entire pregnancy has called to let me know she will not be able to preform my c-section.  Instead, she must attend a memorial service for a dear friend of hers.   Please pray that in the next 2 weeks another doctor will be able to familiarize themselves with my case and history and that everything will go smoothly and in our favor on April 4th!

The Countdown is On!

There are only 5 1/2 short weeks left until our rainbow is born!!

I say short, trying to convince myself that carrying these extra 30 lbs around with an aching back and a testy 2 1/2 year old, will go quickly :)

Despite some of the daily struggles of pregnancy, (getting out of bed, trying to cut your toe nails, washing dishes, climbing steps, finding clothes to fit, constantly having to pee, etc...) the 3rd time around has not been too bad.  I really doubted how my body would do this time, after having such horrible sciatic pain with Jordan.  I guess my body has become accustom to being pregnant. After all, in the past 4 years I have been pregnant 3 times!  By the time our rainbow appears, I could say I have 3 kids under 3 years old.

Brady calls this shirt my "tent"

Lately, I have had high anxiety. I know what good and what bad can happen with babies and pregnancy.  I have been praying for God to ease my anxieties and that is just what He is doing.  The signs have not gone unnoticed.

One particular sign appeared the other day.  I randomly got out the Honda Odyssey booklet we obtained a few months back.  I was paging through it with hopes that a mini van will be in my not so distant future.  (Look out soccer moms! Minus the stick figures on my back window) As I flipped through, I came upon a page that pictures not only the stunning Honda Odyssey, but also a rainbow, a butterfly, and 2 fawns (new life).  I stopped and smiled, taking in the beauty and meaning this page offered me.

In addition to the random signs of hope, my sister Katelyn created an amazing prayer calendar.   It began on week 20 with thoughts, prayers, and quotes that my friends and family submitted for me.

Katelyn is a very talented graphic artist. She created a beautiful rainbow and butterfly filled flip calendar that I seriously thought was store bought.

I get excited to flip the calendar to the next page week after week to read the touching words people have put together for me.  This also serves as a nice little countdown as well.  The calendar alone has kept my spirits and hope high!

Finished Bath

After a two week remodel, the boy's bathroom is finally done!  It was only suppose to take 5-7 days, but after some miscommunication with the contractor and having to order more tile for the tub, we are finally done!

Each day the "guys" were here, we would be excited to check out the progress.  Brady was a real trooper taking naps through some of the loudest construction.  He was excited to see "the guys" each day and he would even say goodnight to his new bathroom each night.

The nursery is still a work in progress.  The wains coating is up, but Chad still needs to got over it with a coat of paint.  The pressure is on...only 2 more months until baby #3 joins the family!

Superstitions

I would not consider myself obsessively superstitious, but I do have some superstitions especially when it comes to trying to avoid something bad from happening.   We all know how horrible my last delivery went and so this time, I am trying to doing somethings differently during my pregnancy, hoping that we do not have a similar experience.

Last Time:
1. I didn't prepare a nursery
2. I didn't buy anything new for the baby.
3. I had a name picked out and announced.
4. I did NOT announce my pregnancy on Facebook.
5. I delivered at Butler Memorial Hospital.
6. I was negative and complained often about pain and discomfort.

With Brady and This time:
1. I did/ will prepare a nursery.
2. I did/ am buying some new things for the baby.
3. I didn't/ don't have a name picked out OR announced.
4. I did/ am announcing my pregnancy on FB and posting pictures and updates.
5. I did/ will be delivering at Reading Hospital.
6. I was/ am positive and keep the complaining to a minimum.  The discomfort was/ is minimal.

Whether these differences will make a difference or not, I feel better about not repeating what I did last time.  Unfortunately I have been "ruined" after delivering Jordan.  I know that life is not guaranteed, so I have a stiff guard up even though I can feel the excitement and ignorance popping through once again.

Being pregnant and expecting a child is an exciting and life-changing experience, no matter how many times you have been through it.   I continue to pray that this upcoming life-changing event will end up making us feel overwhelmed with happiness and joy.    I have already been down the shock and extreme disappointment road and am hoping a person only ever has to experience that at most, one time.

Operation Baby!

There is a lot to consider when preparing for a baby.  While pregnant with Jordan, we never really prepared much, knowing that we would not be staying in our Cranberry Township home.   Looking back, it was a God sent.  I didn't have to come home to a waiting nursery adorn with adorable baby decor in the midst of the worst grief I have ever felt.   

Now that we are settled in our "forever" home, we are preparing a nursery where we will place our baby boy in April.  In preparation, we had to first move Chad's home office from a bedroom to the basement.  This project was completed soon after we found out we were expecting.  

Now we are in the midst of painting what will become the nursery and remodeling the bathroom the boys will use.   Chad and his dad worked hard over the weekend to paint the room a soft, powder blue. Our contractor will be finishing it with a white wains coating within the coming week.  As our remodel takes place, Brady and I are keeping busy and trying to stay out of the way.  On day one, we baked some chocolate chip cookies (just what I need).  He even helped to do the dishes. 

We are excited for the home transitions as well as our family transition.  It brings me joy to plan and prepare for the arrival of our 3rd child.   Stay tuned for the end results! 

Rainbow baby #1

My sister and I have a lot in common.  We both have toddlers.  We both experienced neonatal death.  We are/ were both pregnant with our rainbow babies.  I have walked in my sister's steps since we began starting our families. Although I was married first, she was the first of us to get pregnant and ever since, our family histories are almost identical.

So here we are...I am 25 weeks pregnant and she just had her RAINBOW baby!!!  I could not be more thrilled for her and her family!!  The weight of waiting has been lifted and they were granted their healthy, living baby!!

Being that our family histories are so similar, I feel even more confident that in early April, I too will welcome a healthy, living baby!  After all, what happens to her seems to also happen to me.  Although my sister has her baby in her arms and I am stuck waiting another 3 months, I have the advantage of asking her all kinds of questions about her birth plan to make sure I am doing everything I should be doing to ensure the best possible outcome.

I didn't always have a good relationship with my sister.  It all started when my parents brought her home from the hospital 22 months later.  I was horrified that I had to share the attention and since then, sharing has always been hard.  Especially when it came to boys in high school.  Now, 31 years later, I am blessed to have her. We are very close and often talk daily.  Now our children will be close, in age anyway.

Proud to announce the birth of Jocelyn Nikohl Kozlowski. Born 1/8/13:

Chilly weather, warm hearts

Merry Christmas!!

Christmas is my favorite time of year.   I love the Christmas lights, music, trees, and the warmth I feel during the holiday season.   Last year my holiday spirit was lacking, but this year spirits are bright.    Brady is at a perfect age to begin understanding the magic of Christmas! Not a weekend goes by that we aren't out doing something  fun and taking in the warmth of the holiday.  

I want to wish you and your family a Happy Holiday! Don't forget the true meaning of Christmas!  Many blessings!

 Brady helped decorate the Christmas tree this year.  He was very proud for his work.

 A visit with Santa at Macy's in NYC!

 A Central Park carriage ride with me, my parents and Brady.

The bus ride home from NYC!  I think he had fun :)