After you have been a stay-at-home mom for a couple years, even a couple weeks, you begin to wonder if you should continue your professional career. In my case, I feel guilt about not financially contributing to the family. I have been waiting for a job opportunity to fall into my lap and well, one fell and I began pursuing what I thought was a "meant to be job."
I was given the amazing opportunity to interview for any one of 3 elementary positions in the district where we reside. REGULAR EDUCATION!! Was this my "out" of special ed? I took the timing and potential positions as a sign. This was my break. A way to begin contributing to the family funds again. A way to get my foot into the regular, elementary setting. I landed an informal interview, which ended up going well because they invited me back for a second interview. I welcomed the second interview, knowing I would have to prepare and teach a 3rd grade language arts lesson to several administrators.
I wasted no time as I began to brainstorm the perfect lesson to teach. I spent Brady's entire nap-time gathering ideas and creating worksheets to use. I continued working feverishly that evening to complete the lesson plan and all the components I would need to teach a successful lesson. As I was preparing, I couldn't help but think whether this was really the right move. After all, I just started doing some tutoring and independent consulting for a company. Thoughts began to pour into my already overwhelmed head:
1. School starts next week!!??
2. What will I do with Brady?
3. I am already making some money.
4. What about that beach vacation we were planning next week?
5. What if I get the job and I just can't juggle everything else?
6. I know what a nightmare I can be when I am stressed! Look Out!!
7. Could I continue to be a good wife and mom AND hold a full-time job?
There were SO many unknowns. I woke up this morning with my stomach in knots over the lesson and potentially accepting a teaching position. Is being a teacher really worth it at this point in my life? NO. So there you have it! By 8 AM this morning, I was on the phone pulling out of the running. When I hung up, I felt a sense of relief. At this time in my life, it just wasn't "meant to be."
Instead, I will continue being a much appreciated stay-at-home mom! Just check out all the fun things we do together! I really don't want to miss one second of it! Life is TOO short!