For some reason, I have been drawn back to the day we spent with Jordan at the Children's hospital after he had passed. I recall asking the reverend how one goes about "keeping the faith" after such a horrible tragedy. He went on to tell us the following scenario: Unfortunately, you will never understand why God allowed this to happen. It is like taking your newborn baby to the doctor's office for shots. As parents we cannot explain to them why they need the shots b/c they cannot understand us, but we take them anyway b/c getting the shots is what's best for our child. As parents we watch as the shot is given and our child screams in pain, but we are there to hug them and sooth their pain. Similarly, God is unable to explain to us as his child, why we had to endure such a loss- but we must trust that he had our best interest at heart and that he will be there to console us in our darkest hour.
Although my prayers for Jordan went unanswered, I continue to believe in God and the path He has chosen for us. I hate that His path has included the death of our son, but trust that He will guide us to brighter days.
Happy four months to our beautiful angel!!