So 5 months ago today, Jordan Reed was born. Not a day goes by that I don't think of him. Five months ago, I wasn't sure how I was possibly going to make it through such a horrible event. The days seemed endless with constant thoughts about Jordan. The "what ifs" and the "If onlys" were a consistent thought. With any wound, no matter how deep, time does help. It will never heal, but the pain has defiantly subsided. (for now)
Today I decided to take Brady to the park. Before playing, my plan was to run 3 miles with the jogging stroller. I was being quite ambitious as I haven't even ran this particular trail without the stroller. Well, needless to say we only made it one mile with several ups and downs in the terrain. Pushing a stroller with an extra 30lbs is no easy task. Phew! After one lap/mile, I noticed a butterfly at the place we started. I stopped, got a drink and pushed myself to do one more mile/lap at a slower pace. At the conclusion of the second lap, the butterfly was still in the same place. I stopped again and watched it fly around, struggling to keep flight in the wind. Soon it flew away, never to be seen by me again. It was as if it was cheering me on and waiting for us as we came back to our finish line.
Now it was Brady's turn to play at the playground. We were there about 30 minutes when a little girl and her grandma came and played at the same section as us. The little girl kept following Brady around the playground. It wasn't long before the grandmother began to coach the little girl my name as she climbed up and down the equipment. Her name: Jordan. I couldn't help but watch her and wish it was me calling my child by the same name!
These are just two small ways that Jordan is affirming his presence in my life and it is things that this that keep me going- signs that he is near!