Tuesday, April 10, 2012

The Memorial

On Apri 7, 2012 we held a memorial service for Jordan and Kohl.   The planning began months ago with the preparation of a date and time.  My sister and I spoke regularly about the memorial and several emails were sent back and forth containing ideas.  

We agreed that the Easter holiday would be a great time to remember our little men.  After all, it is the celebration of the resurrected Lord.  The holiday was all together symbolic for our memorial service.  We decided to include a butterfly release at the conclusion of the service.  The butterfly means: entering of a greater life; just as our Lord and children entered their "greater life."  

At the beginning of March, I ordered a demo kit of Painted Lady butterflies.  It was my job to raise the butterflies and bring them on April 7th.  They came in two separate cups as larvae.  About 12 days after they arrived, they formed into pupae and hung to the top of the cup.  I then transferred them to the sanctuary and waited for them to emerge.  It was approximately one week later that they emerged into beautiful butterflies.  I cared for them by feeding them sugar water and orange slices and misting the sanctuary with water.
The life cycle of a painted lady butterfly is only about 2 weeks.  The butterflies, all nine, emerged 16 days prior to the memorial.  It was nerve wracking to think that they could die any time before the memorial even happened.  Luckily, with fingers crossed, all nine survived the 16 days and 4 hour car ride back to our "home" church in Fleetwood, PA.

My sister's job was to create the programs.  She did a beautiful job.  She designed a 3-fold program containing the order of events, a picture of each of the boys, and several poems and quotes throughout. It is something I will cherish forever.  In addition, she also made colorful butterfly sun-catchers for each family that attended.   They included Jordan and Kohl's name with letter beads and purple and topaz beans to represent their birthstones.  It was super creative and took many hours to make.

The service was really nice.  We invited only our closest family members for a very intimate memorial. We began the service with a prayer, followed by the lighting of two candles while "Held" by Natalie Grant played in the background.   My sister, Chad, and I all spoke.  My sister and I read quotes and passages we have come across during our grief process that struck a chord with us.  Chad read a poem he wrote himself.  Our pastor presented a sermon and then we all went outside to release the butterflies.

I felt a sense of relief after the service.   I was happy that we had planned it and were able to do it in honor of our boys.  I was able to rest a little easier that night knowing it was over.   I felt nervous and nauseous during the days and hours leading up to the service.   I wanted to make sure that we gave the boys the tribute they both deserved.  I wanted everything to be perfect without any regrets- and it was!  No regrets!

1 comment:

  1. What a beautiful service. I hope it brought you a feeling of peace and comfort. xoxo