Sunday, July 15, 2012

Relief after 8 LONG months

So 7/16/12 marks the 8 month mark of what should have been a growing, thriving baby boy.  It has been a long road of grief, a struggle I never thought possible.  To loose a child is unimaginable and I still can't believe it even happened.

The loss of a grandparent is hard, but they leave the world having lived a long life.  The loss of a baby is unexplainable.  Just when you think a new life will be starting, it ends without warning.  The aches of longing for him and wondering what life should have been like with him will forever haunt me.

Having said that, I have begun to move on.  I am starting to think of our future and stop lingering in the past.   If I Could Turn Back Time, knowing what I know now, I WOULD.  In a heart beat!!  But I can't, so all I CAN do is move on.   So instead of repeating myself in my blog entries month after month while sobbing, I have decided to continue my blog with Jordan in mind.  Instead of this being a blog just about my grief process, I will now incorporate the rest of my beautiful family and all the FUN we are having in the midst of our grief.

Hopefully this new venture will make me smile, remind me of how lucky I am, and help me to continue traveling down a long grief stricken road (I think I can see the light).

On a happy note, Brady just celebrated his 2nd birthday!  He has been impressing us left and right with all the new things he is learning each day.  He started off slow with talking, but now he has the hang of it, repeating most of what comes out of our mouths.  

I love our boys like only a Mommy could!

1 comment:

  1. So glad you are finding relief and fun amongst the hard times. Big hugs to you!